Imagine a world where drugs are everywhere. Then add a virus spread by a new drug and threatening to wipe out everyone. Picture a few survivors trying to seal up part of the world so that millions could reemerge after the threat passes. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? Someone could probably make a great Doctor Who episode out of that description. Unfortunately, no one did. They made this instead. It includes a speech where you find out about the exciting events that happened 23 years earlier, but don't actually witness them.

So what is this about? Not much, as close as I can tell. The episode starts out with people being attacked by monsters on another planet. A promising start. I am so sick of London. For some reason the production team is under the impression that everyone wants to see London over and over again. 7 straight weeks of London stories. I don't remember anyone ever telling me they thought the old show was good, but that they really needed to stop going out and exploring the universe. For some reason RTD thinks this is how we all think.

But thankfully we are away from Earth and... oh wait. We are on New Earth again. Gee, that seems like a bad idea. Last year's season premiere was funny, but had an awful plot. Spraying sick people with intravenous drugs to cure them. It was the kind of thing that fans used to be embarrassed about when non-fans would walk by and see what you were watching.

Well, just cause we are on New Earth doesn't mean they can't make an entertaining episode. I'll be positive about it. After all, we are going to get monsters. True, great monsters are hard to do, but I assume we are returning here because RTD had something really good to show us.

Now the show starts and we have rain and some drug dealers... OK, not exactly taking off, but I'm still positive. Then a kidnapping. Now the episode will get going and... why do they have Tennant threatening, snarling, and yelling? In his first few episodes he did that and the effect wasn't very impressive. The show seemed to recognize that and stopped having him do it. Instead, in Army of Ghosts, he sits calmly and challenges Torchwood woman to pull the lever and destroy herself. Very well done... but not here. Here we have snarling Tennant threatening everyone. Did I mention he doesn't do that very well?

Whatever. Stay positive. Now we get to the expressway and are introduced to a very strange world that feels like it just came out of a Douglas Adams story. Except for two things. One, I am having a hard time figuring out where this traffic jam idea could possibly go. I could swear that you couldn't actually develop it into an entertaining plot. Two, it isn't very funny. It is just one joke: The people have been there a long time. Ha-ha.

The scene where he goes from one truck to the next was good, but hardly great. And then the whole episode goes down hill. The people aren't going to go somewhere to start a new life. They aren't being held against their will. They, apparently, are just too lazy to park their cars and go walk somewhere and save themselves.

Back in the classic series, the plots tended to have giant holes in them. It was common for some fan to point out that: hey, why didn't the Doctor just tell them such and such and the whole story would have ended. And in response I could only say: your right, but I was having so much fun I didn't notice or care. This episode... they don't start out showing the Doctor trapped. The Doctor doesn't break down a wall or use the TARDIS to get through a solid barrier or something. Instead, they show that people are living in the open air and can (and do) come and go from their cars virtually whenever they want. They, apparently, just don't want to leave their cars! What a horribly constructed story. What a stupid plot!

Oh, but what about the monsters that started the episode? They are nothing. They don't cause the problem, they aren't preventing anyone from leaving. They just sit there and try and crush passing cars. Wow. What creativity. I wish I could come up ideas this brilliant. I can only imagine what it must have been like when RTD pitched the story:

RTD: I'm putting monsters in the story.
Underling: Really? I see that all they do is sit in a hole and try and crush passing shuttles.
RTD: You're point being? Underling: Well boss, usually you put a monster in a story to make it better. Otherwise you don't actually need to add the monsters at all.
RTD: I suppose you have a point... I know! I'll give them the same name as an old 60's monster.
Underling: Of course! That way, people will associate your mindless creatures with an intelligent, manipulative monster and save you the trouble of coming up with anything creative. You're a genius, boss.
RTD: Thanks!

Just for the record, I normally like RTD's scripts. I loved season 1 when he wrote the majority of them. But that doesn't change the fact that he just didn't bother with the plot on this one. In fact, in the two scripts he has written in season 3, both ended with the Doctor either plugging or unplugging extension cords. That just isn't worthy of this show.

Also, although some of the shots looked good (the Doctor jumping from car to car and the city at the end come to mind) the monsters looked terrible. Just awful. Looked like someone had cut a cheap cartoon in the middle of a live action feature.

But there is more to this episode. After the silly traffic sequences, we have the face of Boe. I remember in New Earth when they put in The Face, but didn't actually use it to make the episode interesting, just say he has a mystery and leave it at that. It didn't look like a good idea to me, but I heard some other people say that they thought it was going to lead somewhere good and were looking forward to seeing him again. Well, here he is and they brought him back so he could just sit there and die. Wow. Great idea. Is there no one at the BBC who can kick RTD in the ass and say, "Hey, that's bad. Don't do it."? (ASIDE - As I think about it, I kind of get the feeling that no one had the guts to tell RTD that New Earth was a bad episode. That the plot was awful. That it was only watchable because it had some funny lines. Maybe RTD doesn't know that. Maybe he was thinking he should recreate the great success of that earlier episode even though he couldn't think of anything funny to put in it, but since it was so great it would work out anyway. I hope I'm wrong. - End of ASIDE)

So here we are at week three and could we please have some character development concerning Martha? They are having her say and react to things the same way Rose did when she met the Doctor. She seems like she should be a good companion, but instead we get her wondering if the Doctor "likes" her. Who cares! I want adventure! I honestly couldn't care less if Martha falls for the Doctor or not. And I don't want anymore references to Rose. I don't want Martha compared to Rose. I don't want Martha insulted because she isn't Rose. I just want Martha and the Doctor to explore and battle bad guys. Is that really too much to ask?

The season started off OK. Episode 1 was kind of forgettable, but it was entertaining even if it again started in London. Just a light bit of fluff.

Episode 2 was better. Still in London, but Shakespeare was good. It looked great. Contrary to what I wrote above, the scene with them in the same bed was good except for the mean spirited insult at the end. This episode was even more entertaining than the last one, but it was still flawed. Putting magic in Doctor Who can be fun, but it is lazy script writing and in the long run will ruin the brand. Also, because RTD insists on 45 minute episodes, there was no time to develop the villains. I don't know why he doesn't see it, but there have been virtually no memorable villains in the entire new show and the reason is because of time. Again, I image the story meetings go something like this:

RTD: More single episodes.
Minion: But the fans are starting to complain about the simple plots and forgettable villains. We need someone who can stand up to the Doctor in a battle of wills.
RTD: Well, just add more cackling. Nothing makes fans happier than cackling villains.
Minion: Good idea boss. You're a genius.
RTD: Thanks!

Gridlock didn't even bother to have a villain, unless you count the monsters sitting in their hole. The show needs better plots and villains and that means more two parters.

Anyway, after two entertaining, but flawed episodes, we get this which takes all the weaknesses of the show and combines them together. This was just a filler episode so that The Face of Boe can tell his big secret and RTD threw in some traffic jokes to make up the time. In fact, except for the nice scene of the Doctor describing the sunsets on his home planet the whole episode should be burned. Some episodes of the new show haven't been that great, but I'd happily sit through everyone of them except this one.

Now before I go, I want to comment on what some other people are saying about this episode. I noticed that quite a few people on various forums are saying things like: Loved it. Best episode since the show came back three years ago. An instant classic.

This is kind of odd, because even if you didn't mind the many flaws I've listed, I'd like to point out that almost nothing happens in this episode. No great puzzle to solve, no great villain to over come, the Doctor and Martha do almost nothing (and don't have much screen time together). I tried to understand some of the things fans of this episode were saying, but they didn't make much sense to me.

Some statements were along the lines of: Russell T. Davies can take something as mundane and irritating as a traffic jam and expand it into an exploration of how determined people can be to struggle on in the hope of a better life, and how much they are prepared to endure and sacrifice to achieve that for themselves, their loved ones, and their children.

Has the whole world gone nuts? It was an episode about a group of people too stupid to get out of their cars and walk up a flight of stairs!

Others talked about how great it was that it included an old monster. I guess naming things that just sit in a hole after a classic monster was a good idea.

RTD: Told you.
Peon: Great idea, boss. You're a genius.
RTD: Thanks!

And others talked about how great the Face of Boe was. They even said things about how they almost cried when it died. It had maybe 10 lines in 3 appearances! It had no personality. It was supposed to have a mysterious secret, instead it just had one piece of information that could have been told at any time. Imagine this happening to you:

Boe: I'm dying so I'll tell you MY secret.
You: Duh, OK.
Boe: Your brother is alive and lives about 4 blocks over on west 53rd street.
You: Really? Why didn't you tell me this before?
Boe: I wasn't dying then.
You: Well that makes sense... you're a genius.
Boe: Thanks!

And of course, how does the Doctor react to "the secret" the Face tells him? Boe, the fountain of wisdom. The great being as old as the universe... The Doctor just says he was mistaken. Pretty much par for the course.

This RTD effort is best described as a mixed bag ? a fairly good plot, somewhat reminiscent of the more whimsical McCoy stories of the late Eighties ; a nice nod to the past with the return of the crab-like Macra, who first appeared as far back as season four of the old series ; and a really excellent supporting cast.

Whatever gravitas is ostensibly achieved by the " Old Rugged Cross" interval (a scene not too dissimilar, at first sight at least , of the Earth High Minister's pep talk in the Ark in Space) soon evaporates with the realisation that the self ? labelled "deeply atheist" RTD has simply used a fine hymn to make a tiresome and well worn anti-religious point about this sort of stuff being the opium of the masses, no better than the other drugs they take, but ultimately providing false comfort whereas, naturally, the Doctor can offer something more tangible, a genuine chance of escape. Just in case we missed the point, Martha spells it out for us : you have your hymns and your faith, I have the Doctor, she says. Is it too much to ask that one of these days we can enjoy a story penned by new Who's chief writer without being treated to the gospel according to RTD?

The revelation of the old Boat Race that the Doctor isn't alone is a terribly predictable and disappointing secret. This ancient and noble creature breathes (we presume) its last just to introduce a future storyline. This wasn't textbook enigmatic this time. I'd have kept it to yourself mate.

Enjoyable despite the above, Gridlock scores a respectable 7.5/10.

Sometimes the mix of each Doctor Who episode is as important as everything else. Perhaps there is too much of one thing and not enough of another. But tonight, Russell T Davies perhaps showed the true merits of his scriptwriting abilities with an absorbing episode which had laughter and disaster, frivolity and seriousness, living and dying, the ethos of the timelords, being caught in a futuristic traffic jam and just to round things off...?re-launching the Macra in a glorious nod to the wonderful early years of the programme from over 40 years ago.

?The real beauty of this episode was that it was not overstated but just a great blend of everything. It was a delight from start to finish. The return to New?Earth was a great idea?and the traffic jam?realisation was a marvellous sequence. Some great laughs as the Doctor?pops into different passing vehicles and then the arrival of the Marca?who looked wonderful in all their CGI beauty.

?The Face of Boe and the catnurse was also a welcome return?and the great final message?to the Doctor certainly gave him quite a perplexed look. Some great lines throughout and Martha is?now striding through the episodes with real style...?a?very smooth transitition.

?It just had me gripped all the way through. Ardal O Hanlan was good as the cat pilot but came across almost as a bumbling C3PO kind of personality. A bit of a sop in other words!

?The death of the Face of Boe was neatly handled and that was a great move releasing him from his glass tank to say his final words and breath life.

?A very high standard and a most enjoyable futuristic episode ... one of the best they have done so far. There was no really big fanfare for this particular story after Shakespeare and the arrival of Martha in the first two episodes but Gridlock was stylish, imaginative, and above all, great fun from start to finish.

OH. DEAR.

Two words sum this one up. When I heard rumours that the Troughton era creature that would return in Series 3 would be the Macra, I thought "Well, at least they may be able to improve on their last outing". But this rather poor take on the "something lurking in the undercity" storyline takes away the one thing that made the Macra anything more than mutant crabs. Coupled with the fact that this isn't even the main plot, we waste rather a lot of the episode finding out about them.

Take away the Macra, and concentrate on the main story (the destruction of New Earth by a virus), and you have a much better plot. This should really have been expanded on. The Face of Boe's return is the first time that Boe has been anything other than an alien face in the crowd. Novice Hame's story of redemption is engaging enough.

However, bearing in mind the content of the Vote Saxon sites started by the BBC, the revelation made by the Face of Boe is hardly shocking.

Unfortunately, because of the tedious inclusion of the Macra Mcguffin, this return to New Earth is scarcely satisfying. Once more we get Davies by numbers ? an episode designed purely and simply to move the series' arc plot along a notch.

I really wish, now, that RTD would just stop writing the episodes on concentrate on producing them. Increasingly, the RTD-penned stories are the least satisfying ones.

Lets hope next weeks Dalek episode picks up a little.

We've bought a new television, and its fairly large....too large according to my wife. During our second viewing of The Shakespeare Code she remarked, "I can see the Doctor's nose hairs! That thing is too big". In Gridlock I can report that there were no nose hairs visible save those of Novice Hame and Brannigan the cat.

So what of Gridlock? I thought it was a welcome return to New Earth, and under different circumstances. I have few gripes, maybe Pharmacy Town was too deserted for belief, but the story generally held up well. The characters on the motorway were all different and amusing (if not entirely believable). The idea of being stuck in a trafic jam for years really should get people on the M25 thinking!

I thought bringing back the Macra was justified, though we are left to assume that they will quietly die off without the exhaust fumes rather than explaining their fate. Macra would have been a real surprise had I not read some spoilers. A nice little plot twist was Novice Hame seeming to be an enemy turning out to have repented. When she first appears she seems to pose a threat, that was handled well. Russel's script was full of little fun ideas such as the Doctor inventing a new sport of jumping down from car to car.

And to the face of Boe's dying words. I quite like the Face of Boe, so its a shame that we presumably won't see him again (time travel notwithstanding). Nothing we didn't expect but still sent a chill down my spine.

And Martha, showing she can hold her own when separated from the doctor - and that she is realising the implications of travelling with the Doctor more quickly than Rose did. I did like the fact that the Doctor clearly thinks he is over Rose until Martha mentions "rebound". Very well handled, the Rose references are only placed where necessary.

One of Russel's better stories, and a word again for the Mill. Fantastic effects.

8/10

So. "Gridlock" then.

First off, much better than last week's, although really IMO they didn't have to try TOO hard in order to accomplish that. A wider array of characters, from Ma and Pa out of the "American Gothic" painting (the Hell?!), to Brannigan, to a Max-Normal-looking businessman type. Oh, and Novice Hame, now a worshipper of the Face of Boe. Looks like we won't be seeing any more of him tho. Shame, really.

New Earth, meanwhile, has devolved somewhat to a society of Moods and Pharmacists, and everyone else is stuck on the Motorway. And have done for quite some time now. A very...VERY long time indeed. Er. You know, just between you and me, I get shitty if I'm stuck in traffic on I-465 for more than a few minutes, how has this entire society been able to tolerate being stuck indefinitely for decades? Enough to start families and such? Everyone singing "The Old Rugged Cross" in unison? Huh?? No warning, no nothing. Who would stand for it??

Within this, I'm really starting to see some disturbing trends with RTD. First, the need to create something in order to utterly destroy it the next time we see it. Cases for this study would include: Harriet Jones, Satellite 5, and yeah, even Rose Tyler. Now we have a New Earth that, yes, was harboring a nasty secret in the hospital, but the rest of the society seemed to be OK. When next we see it, the Mood Bliss contained a virus that went airborne and wiped out much of it, and the rest devolved to what we see in this episode. Why the need to show everything or everyone in decay?

Second, I'm starting to have some issues accepting that in the far-future, humanity just humbly and meekly accepts its fate, no matter how far back the species is in retrograde. We already saw this not once, but twice, with the denizens of Satellite 5, but now with New New York as well? I'm really not feeling this. Sure, one could make some pointed commentary about our own societies, but this bad? And repeatedly?

The Doctor, will he finally get over it regarding Rose? Taking Martha, who I thought was maybe a little more muted in this episode than the previous two, but still kept it together rather well, over to New Earth mainly just because he'd already taken Rose there was a bit much. IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON NOW, methinks. At least the Doctor realized that getting Martha into this mess was all his fault.

The Macra ... well, didn't see THAT one coming.

The Face of Boe's final message...er, why was that such a big hush hush secret that he couldn't have said that in "New Earth," exactly? Oh, wait, less opportunity for Doctor-Emo, right.

And as far as that final message.... good Lordy, PLEASE let it not be him. PLEASE GOD ANYTHING.

And you KNOW I am so all over next week's.