Gridlock

Imagine a world where drugs are everywhere. Then add a virus spread by a new drug and threatening to wipe out everyone. Picture a few survivors trying to seal up part of the world so that millions could reemerge after the threat passes. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? Someone could probably make a great Doctor Who episode out of that description. Unfortunately, no one did. They made this instead. It includes a speech where you find out about the exciting events that happened 23 years earlier, but don't actually witness them.

So what is this about? Not much, as close as I can tell. The episode starts out with people being attacked by monsters on another planet. A promising start. I am so sick of London. For some reason the production team is under the impression that everyone wants to see London over and over again. 7 straight weeks of London stories. I don't remember anyone ever telling me they thought the old show was good, but that they really needed to stop going out and exploring the universe. For some reason RTD thinks this is how we all think.

But thankfully we are away from Earth and... oh wait. We are on New Earth again. Gee, that seems like a bad idea. Last year's season premiere was funny, but had an awful plot. Spraying sick people with intravenous drugs to cure them. It was the kind of thing that fans used to be embarrassed about when non-fans would walk by and see what you were watching.

Well, just cause we are on New Earth doesn't mean they can't make an entertaining episode. I'll be positive about it. After all, we are going to get monsters. True, great monsters are hard to do, but I assume we are returning here because RTD had something really good to show us.

Now the show starts and we have rain and some drug dealers... OK, not exactly taking off, but I'm still positive. Then a kidnapping. Now the episode will get going and... why do they have Tennant threatening, snarling, and yelling? In his first few episodes he did that and the effect wasn't very impressive. The show seemed to recognize that and stopped having him do it. Instead, in Army of Ghosts, he sits calmly and challenges Torchwood woman to pull the lever and destroy herself. Very well done... but not here. Here we have snarling Tennant threatening everyone. Did I mention he doesn't do that very well?

Whatever. Stay positive. Now we get to the expressway and are introduced to a very strange world that feels like it just came out of a Douglas Adams story. Except for two things. One, I am having a hard time figuring out where this traffic jam idea could possibly go. I could swear that you couldn't actually develop it into an entertaining plot. Two, it isn't very funny. It is just one joke: The people have been there a long time. Ha-ha.

The scene where he goes from one truck to the next was good, but hardly great. And then the whole episode goes down hill. The people aren't going to go somewhere to start a new life. They aren't being held against their will. They, apparently, are just too lazy to park their cars and go walk somewhere and save themselves.

Back in the classic series, the plots tended to have giant holes in them. It was common for some fan to point out that: hey, why didn't the Doctor just tell them such and such and the whole story would have ended. And in response I could only say: your right, but I was having so much fun I didn't notice or care. This episode... they don't start out showing the Doctor trapped. The Doctor doesn't break down a wall or use the TARDIS to get through a solid barrier or something. Instead, they show that people are living in the open air and can (and do) come and go from their cars virtually whenever they want. They, apparently, just don't want to leave their cars! What a horribly constructed story. What a stupid plot!

Oh, but what about the monsters that started the episode? They are nothing. They don't cause the problem, they aren't preventing anyone from leaving. They just sit there and try and crush passing cars. Wow. What creativity. I wish I could come up ideas this brilliant. I can only imagine what it must have been like when RTD pitched the story:

RTD: I'm putting monsters in the story.
Underling: Really? I see that all they do is sit in a hole and try and crush passing shuttles.
RTD: You're point being? Underling: Well boss, usually you put a monster in a story to make it better. Otherwise you don't actually need to add the monsters at all.
RTD: I suppose you have a point... I know! I'll give them the same name as an old 60's monster.
Underling: Of course! That way, people will associate your mindless creatures with an intelligent, manipulative monster and save you the trouble of coming up with anything creative. You're a genius, boss.
RTD: Thanks!

Just for the record, I normally like RTD's scripts. I loved season 1 when he wrote the majority of them. But that doesn't change the fact that he just didn't bother with the plot on this one. In fact, in the two scripts he has written in season 3, both ended with the Doctor either plugging or unplugging extension cords. That just isn't worthy of this show.

Also, although some of the shots looked good (the Doctor jumping from car to car and the city at the end come to mind) the monsters looked terrible. Just awful. Looked like someone had cut a cheap cartoon in the middle of a live action feature.

But there is more to this episode. After the silly traffic sequences, we have the face of Boe. I remember in New Earth when they put in The Face, but didn't actually use it to make the episode interesting, just say he has a mystery and leave it at that. It didn't look like a good idea to me, but I heard some other people say that they thought it was going to lead somewhere good and were looking forward to seeing him again. Well, here he is and they brought him back so he could just sit there and die. Wow. Great idea. Is there no one at the BBC who can kick RTD in the ass and say, "Hey, that's bad. Don't do it."? (ASIDE - As I think about it, I kind of get the feeling that no one had the guts to tell RTD that New Earth was a bad episode. That the plot was awful. That it was only watchable because it had some funny lines. Maybe RTD doesn't know that. Maybe he was thinking he should recreate the great success of that earlier episode even though he couldn't think of anything funny to put in it, but since it was so great it would work out anyway. I hope I'm wrong. - End of ASIDE)

So here we are at week three and could we please have some character development concerning Martha? They are having her say and react to things the same way Rose did when she met the Doctor. She seems like she should be a good companion, but instead we get her wondering if the Doctor "likes" her. Who cares! I want adventure! I honestly couldn't care less if Martha falls for the Doctor or not. And I don't want anymore references to Rose. I don't want Martha compared to Rose. I don't want Martha insulted because she isn't Rose. I just want Martha and the Doctor to explore and battle bad guys. Is that really too much to ask?

The season started off OK. Episode 1 was kind of forgettable, but it was entertaining even if it again started in London. Just a light bit of fluff.

Episode 2 was better. Still in London, but Shakespeare was good. It looked great. Contrary to what I wrote above, the scene with them in the same bed was good except for the mean spirited insult at the end. This episode was even more entertaining than the last one, but it was still flawed. Putting magic in Doctor Who can be fun, but it is lazy script writing and in the long run will ruin the brand. Also, because RTD insists on 45 minute episodes, there was no time to develop the villains. I don't know why he doesn't see it, but there have been virtually no memorable villains in the entire new show and the reason is because of time. Again, I image the story meetings go something like this:

RTD: More single episodes.
Minion: But the fans are starting to complain about the simple plots and forgettable villains. We need someone who can stand up to the Doctor in a battle of wills.
RTD: Well, just add more cackling. Nothing makes fans happier than cackling villains.
Minion: Good idea boss. You're a genius.
RTD: Thanks!

Gridlock didn't even bother to have a villain, unless you count the monsters sitting in their hole. The show needs better plots and villains and that means more two parters.

Anyway, after two entertaining, but flawed episodes, we get this which takes all the weaknesses of the show and combines them together. This was just a filler episode so that The Face of Boe can tell his big secret and RTD threw in some traffic jokes to make up the time. In fact, except for the nice scene of the Doctor describing the sunsets on his home planet the whole episode should be burned. Some episodes of the new show haven't been that great, but I'd happily sit through everyone of them except this one.

Now before I go, I want to comment on what some other people are saying about this episode. I noticed that quite a few people on various forums are saying things like: Loved it. Best episode since the show came back three years ago. An instant classic.

This is kind of odd, because even if you didn't mind the many flaws I've listed, I'd like to point out that almost nothing happens in this episode. No great puzzle to solve, no great villain to over come, the Doctor and Martha do almost nothing (and don't have much screen time together). I tried to understand some of the things fans of this episode were saying, but they didn't make much sense to me.

Some statements were along the lines of: Russell T. Davies can take something as mundane and irritating as a traffic jam and expand it into an exploration of how determined people can be to struggle on in the hope of a better life, and how much they are prepared to endure and sacrifice to achieve that for themselves, their loved ones, and their children.

Has the whole world gone nuts? It was an episode about a group of people too stupid to get out of their cars and walk up a flight of stairs!

Others talked about how great it was that it included an old monster. I guess naming things that just sit in a hole after a classic monster was a good idea.

RTD: Told you.
Peon: Great idea, boss. You're a genius.
RTD: Thanks!

And others talked about how great the Face of Boe was. They even said things about how they almost cried when it died. It had maybe 10 lines in 3 appearances! It had no personality. It was supposed to have a mysterious secret, instead it just had one piece of information that could have been told at any time. Imagine this happening to you:

Boe: I'm dying so I'll tell you MY secret.
You: Duh, OK.
Boe: Your brother is alive and lives about 4 blocks over on west 53rd street.
You: Really? Why didn't you tell me this before?
Boe: I wasn't dying then.
You: Well that makes sense... you're a genius.
Boe: Thanks!

And of course, how does the Doctor react to "the secret" the Face tells him? Boe, the fountain of wisdom. The great being as old as the universe... The Doctor just says he was mistaken. Pretty much par for the course.