42

42 could only have ever gone one of two ways for me. After a fortnight's deprivation, this episode was either going to satisfy two weeks worth of pent-up cravings or it was going to crash and burn. Now whilst the Pentallian may have avoided that particular fate, in my opinion Chris Chibnall's episode did not.

To try and focus on the positive, I enjoyed Joseph Lidster's prologue that he posted on the official Doctor Who website last weekend. It took me back to the days of the Doctor Who Magazine / New Adventures prologues, which is quite fitting considering that we are headed back into Virgin territory next week.

I should also say that I love both the gimmick of "42" and also Chibnall's cryptic episode title. A 'real time' Doctor Who adventure, 24-style, is hardly unprecedented but it's definitely a first for the TV series. And unlike the advert-ridden 24, "42" is actually an adventure set in real time. No three-minute recaps. No commercial breaks. "42" clocks in at just under forty-five minutes (a good six or seven minutes longer than most episodes of 24) and they truly are forty-five minutes of real time action.

And as for the title, it has so many possible connotations. We have the obvious ? "42", because at the start of the episode the Pentallian has just over forty-two minutes before it will crash into a star. "42", because the episode is (supposedly) set in the forty-second century. "42", because it is the meaning of life, at least according to Douglas Adams, and in his novel The Restaurant at the End of the Universe his characters face a similar dilemma to the protagonists in this story. "42", because it's 24 backwards, a television series which this episode emulates in microcosm. And "42", because Russell T. Davies wanted to chuckle at the Radio Times billing: 42 7/13.

"A playful title" doesn't quite cover it. It's almost X-Files worthy.

However, a clever title alone does not a good episode make and more importantly, in a real time setting it is vital to keep things moving quickly and keep things interesting. Watching 24, for example, I often find it hard to believe how quickly the minutes tick by; so much so that I have my doubts about just how accurate that ticking clock actually is. In "42", unfortunately, I experienced the polar opposite sensation. I thought they'd slowed the clock down! 34 minutes to impact? You must be joking?

"The wonderful world of space travel. The prettier it looks, the more likely it is to kill ya."

If nothing else though, visually "42" is a thing of beauty. The red, orange and brown grading really helps the viewer feel the heat. Both the look of the episode and some of the plot elements reminded me very much of last year's superb "The Satan Pit" two-parter, but sadly I found "42" to lack the same punch. Both stories see the Doctor in a situation that he has never really been in before ? which after nearly forty-five years has to be praised! ? but whereas "The Satan Pit" put the Doctor up against the Devil himself, "42" can't decide whether it's baddie wants to be Darth Vader from Star Wars or Cyclops from X-Men. That's if it's a baddie at all, when you think about it?

David Tennant made me laugh on Doctor Who Confidential when he said that Michelle Collins "in a vest and smothered in baby oil" was one of the best things about the episode; with that I can agree wholeheartedly. The vest and the baby oil help, obviously, but so does Collins' wonderful performance. She certainly makes the best of a very poor script, as does Graeme Harper with his direction. One of the most memorable scenes in the whole episode sees McConnell open the airlock and have herself and what is left of her husband blown out in to space. The shot of them both floating above the sun is a stunning and powerful image, romantic even.

Similarly, David Tennant and Freema Agyeman both give phenomenal performances. "42" documents Martha's first trip in the TARDIS as a 'proper' companion, as it were. She gets her phone jazzed up by the Doctor ? "universal roaming" ? and, in one especially emotional scene at the end, he gives her the key to the TARDIS. Most important of all though, "42" sees Martha truly step up to the plate and become the Doctor's equal.

MARTHA You don't know the Doctor. I believe in him.

RILEY Then you're lucky. I've never found anyone worth believing in.

First of all, it is down to the Doctor to save Martha. Once again, Harper excels in his direction. The escape pod is jettisoned and Martha drifts silently and gracefully away from the Pentallian; no music, no sound. It's another beautiful piece of television.

"I'm scared. I'm so scared? it's burning through me."

And then Martha has to return the favour, just like Rose always did. Here though, I concede that this does feel just that little bit more important. I couldn't say for certain ? believe it or not I can't quote every single Doctor Who story verbatim ? but I'm pretty sure that the Doctor hasn't freely admitted to being afraid before and even if he has, he has certainly never cried out that he's scared as he does here. Sure, he's said "I know, me too" and things to that effect, and I do remember reading Andy Lane's New Adventure "Original Sin" and being gobsmacked to see the Doctor admit to being afraid of death, but this is really something else. To coin a phrase, this is a fate worse than death; the Doctor's worse nightmare. Worse than the Valeyard. He'd not only become a killer, but a mindless killer.

And to be completely fair to Chibnall, from T-10 minutes and onwards "42" improves dramatically. It is like suddenly someone has turned up the volume to eleven! The scenes with the Doctor on the outside of the ship, where he first becomes infected, are breathtaking, and Murray Gold's score really kicks in full force. The momentous piece of music that we first heard a fortnight ago accompanying the 'coming soon' trailer is used here with spectacular effect. I'm something of a soundtrack connoisseur ? nothing beats John Williams' Star Wars Trilogy score in my book but, especially when you consider that he is prolifically churning this stuff out for episodic television, Murray Gold can't be far away from such greatness.

"It's alive? that sun's alive? a living organism. They scooped out it's heart, used it for fuel and now it's screaming? it's living in me. Humans! You grab whatever is nearest and bleed it dry!"

There were a few other things that I did enjoy about the episode. The shot where the light leaves the Doctor's eyes towards the end stands out as a superb bit of C.G.I., and I also liked the pub quiz-like fashion in which Martha and Riley had to try and open the bulkhead doors. The Elvis vs The Beatles question was good fun, especially the 'classical music' joke ? a nod to Vicky's comment in "The Chase", perhaps?

MARTHA: It was nice, not dying with you. I think you'll find someone worth believing in.
RILEY: I think I already did.
[Snog]
MARTHA: Well done. Very hot.

I also liked the fact that Martha got to have a bit of thing with Riley. Until now she's been a bit of a doormat for the Doctor really, but at the end of "42" she certainly wastes no time with Riley. What I'm not sure about though is whether the Doctor saw their kiss or not on the scanner. Inside the TARDIS he's clearly very shook up about what he has just been through, but his vacant expression says more than that. Much more.

"Have you voted? Mr. Saxon will be very grateful."

For me, the most interesting part of "42" was the whole Martha's Mum / Mister Saxon segment (Hang on, Mister Saxon? Isn't that an anagram of Master Number Six?) I'm developing a massive dislike for Martha's mother (just as I'm supposed to), and although whether she is being leant on by Saxon's people or whether she is happily assisting the sexy and sinister Miss Dexter (Elize du Toit) in her investigations is unclear, things are certainly getting very interesting very quickly. It's 'Election Day'?

Whilst I'm on this point, was it my imagination or was is it Phil Collinson playing Miss Dexter's bodyguard on the left hand side of the screen?

So in the light of the above, why do I not have a higher opinion of "42"? In short, because I think that the plot is absolute rubbish; words like 'dreary' and 'predictable' do not do it justice. Ten minutes of high-octane action at the end cannot excuse over thirty minutes of tedium. I really cannot get my head round how Chibnall could write four of the best hours of British television in recent memory ? the fantastic Torchwood episodes "Day One"; "Cyberwoman"; "Countrycide"; and "End of Days" ? and then when he gets the chance to write for the big one, to write for Doctor Who, to screw it up so utterly! It's tragic really as all the other elements in "42" work so well ? all the actors' performances; the direction; the effects; the music?

A waste.

In fact, so massive was my disappointment with this episode that I would go so far as to say that it is not only the worst episode of Series Three so far, not only the worst episode of the new series so far, but the worst televised story since "The Greatest Show In The Galaxy" back in 1989. Even the Confidential team, who have until now this year quite comfortably filled their expanded 40-minute time slot with new series material, had to resort to a lengthy trip down memory lane to examine the spaceships of the classic series.

However, I am often guilty of reactively judging episodes a little too harshly only to have them grow on me over time. To make doubly sure, I watched "42" again this morning and again, I got bored after about three minutes.

Furthermore, I haven't seen such a divide in the opinions of fans since "Love & Monsters" aired last year. I posted a bulletin on www.myspace.com/historyofthedoctor to ask my friends on there what their thoughts were, and comments ranged from 'one of my favourite episodes' and 'a future classic' to 'a bit of a disappointment' and 'total let down'. I guess it all depends on how you like your Doctor Who ? I admit that I'm not usually into the hardcore sci-fi episodes (unless they are particularly strong on the human element).

So whilst "42" certainly has it's fans out there, in my book at least the new series producers have churned out their first true clanger. For the first time since 2005 I have to say that this week, Doctor Who wasn't the highlight of my viewing ? an especially hilarious edition of Friday Night With Jonathan Ross (incidentally featuring John Barrowman and an exclusive clip of "Utopia") has stolen that honour.