The Long Game

One thing I admire most about the new series is the way that every episode fits into a wider narrative as semi-independently of the story that it tells. This creates a sort of loose story arc that is designed to create not just an advancing plot but also characterisation and theme. However, there has to be a healthy balance as an episode is still required to tell a good story in its own right, and that's where The Long Game falls down. Opinion of it reflects this: it bottomed out the Outpost Gallifrey season one poll, and many reviews have been negative. I don't feel that it's the worst episode of the season, but in terms of sheer structure it's arguably the one with the most flaws.

The opening scene is actually quite fun, with Russell T. Davies writing quirky dialogue that manages to stay on the right side of indulgence. It is let down by the big plank that is Bruno Langley as the abortive companion Adam: Dalek was too good for him to let it down, but that's not the case here. Also, the notion that Rose is wilfully cheating on Mickey (see also The Empty Child) makes me wonder about the moral centre (I don't want to sound prudish but I'm a white middle-class guy from Surrey and it'll only be a few years until I'm made illegal). We see a brief shot of Satellite Five before the titles, and the cross between The Ark In Space and 2001: A Space Odyssey works brilliantly creating a much more inventive design than the one for The End Of The World.

After the titles the gig gets wrecked by what I call the Kronkburger scene, as that piece of nonsense perfectly epitomises this sub-Dragonfire set-up of people running round ordering fast food; at least in that episode the milkshakes didn't taste of beef. The music is irritating (Murray Gold is generally okay but he really can't do jauntiness) and the scene is in general overly camp – something Davies stated he was going to be careful about. The Doctor as written by him is completely at odds with the character as written by anyone else, as the sparkling eccentricity that has made him such a captivating television figure for so many years gives way to simple buffoonery. In this case the Doctor is deliberately putting on an act, but for the series in general that point stands. Furthermore, the unimaginative design of the year 200 000 has bee criticised so much that I'm not going to go into it here. It's not all bad though: the massive infodump given by Cathica is at least given some context with the Doctor pretending to be from management, and Simon Pegg puts in a great performance that perfectly suits a character that could so easily slip into pantomime.

The aforementioned beef slush-puppy is another deeply silly scene and continues Davies's habit of creating a largely comedic contextual universe for the characters: in the original series the settings were serious and comedy was added later by the characters, and comedy doesn't feel at all appropriate when it becomes intrinsically part of a non-comedic narrative. It's strange that in an episode featuring two notable comedy actors that I should be complaining about this while praising Pegg as one of its best features. Also of note is Cathica's introduction of "ladies, gentlemen, multisex, undecided"; one of Davies's hobbies seems to be provoking reactions with gratuitous references to sex and sexuality. This is something I never wanted to discuss any episode in relation to, but the cumulative effect throughout the series makes it difficult to ignore. The fact that no aliens are in the room at the time makes it dramatically unjustified, and it merely comes across as self-indulgent writing. I don't want to sound parochial or like I hate the very concept of sex and gender in Doctor Who (not at all); all I have a problem with is Davies's constant need to bait his audience. I'll say again that it's the cumulative effect of the series as a whole that sees me vent my frustration at this scene, as I don't want to mislead you as to the significance of it on its own.

The information stream is a hardly a gigantic leap of imagination, but is certainly off the wall in practice mainly because of the completely loopy idea of people having holes in their heads; unlike, say, Aliens Of London's space pig this sees Davies get right the mix if humour and the genuinely disturbing.

The revelation that Suki is a rebel is an interesting twist as the viewer is expecting the Doctor to be identified. The snowy floor 500 looks brilliant and contains a genuine jump-moment when the corpses are discovered. It is well directed by Brian Grant, who makes good use of a handheld camera, but does go on too long. It finishes with Suki's death though, which is a great moment especially considering that, like many of Davies's episodes, the mortality rate is a fairly low 33.3%.

So far the episode isn't terrible, but I can't shake the feeling that more should have happened by now. It is paced like original series episodes were when they had a leisurely hour and forty minutes to tell their story. This is the main problem with the episode that, through its poor execution, a good core idea goes to the dogs. We're halfway through the episode, and we're still at the initial-setup stage of the plot.

Tamsin Greig's creepy, subtly suggestive performance as the nurse is something I can't quite fathom out, but it certainly tops anything that Langley can manage acting opposite her. The Editor's line about nonentities being promoted is another stalling attempt at satire from Davies; like the low-brow toilet gags and occasional smut the cumulative effect is very grating, and the same goes for the vomit-o-matic.

I'd just like to say that I note with glee the fact that the lift door wobbles as the Doctor and Rose enter it.

Only once the heroes have been captured do we learn anything new since the beginning, either for the episode itself or its place in the series – so badly is The Long Game constructed. However, the confrontation between the Doctor and the Editor is very good and the Jagrafess looks amazing, although its silly convoluted full name sees Davies plumb the depths by plagiarising himself having come up with the ridiculous 'Raxicoricofallipatorius' for World War Three. The 'slave' discussion is great, but why doesn't the Editor sense Cathica come into the room since he's just said how he can detect everyone's thoughts?

The explanation of the Jagrafess leads to many unanswered questions and is inadequate. This is largely intentional, but that doesn't make it a good thing. The Long Game is merely a forty-five minute trailer for Bad Wolf, without containing any real substance to sustain it independently. Taken on its own terms the viewer merely comes away thinking "is that it?", and if I hadn't heard Davies say that these questions would be answered I wouldn't have given it the benefit of the doubt.

And, with that, the Jagrafess is destroyed. Just as the viewer is hoping a bit of proper plot is going to come along the whole thing is over, although we should be grateful that there's no massive fart noise as the Jagrafess explodes. One silly moment is that Suki somehow grabs the Editor even though the zombies' chips are deactivated; even if you explain this away as the Jagrafess taking revenge it's still a cheap attempt at providing dramatic justice. The final scene, in a cursory mention, is straight out of an unfunny sitcom.

I've tried to be kind to this as I've seen many worse episodes (there aren't so many plot holes here as Davies's episodes usually contain), but even so The Long Game is disappointing. It can be seen more sympathetically in the light of Bad Wolf, but in a sense that is irrelevant; however useful it is for the general narrative the fact remains that it is unable to stand up on its own. Therefore, for all it's snappy dialogue and decent visuals, The Long Game remains a very unsatisfying episode.