Love & Monsters

Oh my God and Jesus as well. How does he keep getting WORSE?!

Tooth & Claw, though not perfect, was a step up. Wishful thinking, it seems, to have hoped that this would be a permanent improvementВ… Come on - Love & Monsters was, well, abysmal.

DonВ’t get me wrong В– I love Doctor Who more than I really care to mention, and I want so much to be able to equally love these new series. In fact, I was kind of a В‘lapsedВ’ fan when the Eccleston run kicked off, and since then IВ’ve been trying to qualify exactly what my thoughts are about the В‘reinventionВ’ of something I love so muchВ… (For my sins though, it has thoroughly restarted my interest in all other things Doctor Who В– spending far too much money on eBay, catching up on Missing and New Adventures I never got round to reading before, etc etcВ…)

So, itВ’s not like IВ’m slagging the revival off just for the hell of it В– yeah, itВ’s not quite how IВ’d ideally like it to be (В‘darkerВ’, more developed/ambiguous plots В– Ghost Light/Fenric styleeeee), bu-utВ… ThereВ’s been a lot of shit, but at the same time enough good stuff (ummВ… The Girl in the Fireplace, The Impossible Planet) to justify continued viewing. I desperately want it all to be honest-to-God AMAZING - but then, an abortion of an episode like Love & Monsters comes along and cruelly dashes all my hopes and dreams. Etc. Ahem.

The annoying thing about bitching about this particular episode is that I know people are going to assume that either/or a) IВ’m so closed-minded that I canВ’t deal with an episode that doesnВ’t obviously fit into an established format from the original series, or feature the Doctor all the way through, or, b) that IВ’m completely heartless and immune to, yВ’know, emotional exchanges and meaningful stuff about friendship, and all that jazzВ… The things this episode was so clearly and so desperately aiming for. Unfortunately, the В‘emotionalВ’ subtext (or should that just be В‘textВ’; there wasnВ’t a lot of sub about it) was so painfully cack-handed and simplistic that it had the effect of simply making me very cross indeed rather than making me empathise with the characters (such as they were). And as for the idea of, if you like, В‘experimentalВ’ approaches to Doctor Who В– yes! By all means! The idea of doing things outside of the archetypes of the original series was a mainstay of some of the best of the Virgin and BBC novel ranges; we know it can work В– by all means transfer that to the series itself!

Unfortunately, a video diary by an emotionally retarted Elton John namesake doesnВ’t cut it. Look - heВ’s a real person! Ooh В– a В‘postmodernВ’ metaphor for Doctor Who fansВ…! No, heВ’s a bit of a tosser, and LINDA never for a moment seemed to consist of real people. Sorry, Russell, but no dice, grandma. (And what the hell was all that ELO padding?!)

The idea of В‘everydayВ’ people whose lives have been touched by the Doctor in some way (as in Rose), is potentially interesting В– that it becomes an insipid and pointless metaphor for В‘the fansВ’ ruins it somewhat. Also wouldВ’ve been nice to have some acknowledgement of the DoctorВ’s different bodies, which couldВ’ve easily been made to fit in, and be intriguing rather than off-putting to the newer viewers if done well (which, considering this was a RTD script is perhaps asking too muchВ…). In fact, with the flashbackВ’s to EltonВ’s childhood I found myself automatically expecting the Doctor he encountered to be the Fourth (which wouldВ’ve made sense in terms of the whole fan thing) В– how hard would it have been to show his feet and his scarf dangling, and dub over an inimitable, В‘Oh, helloВ…В’. (And after the overload in School Reunion, you canВ’t say that kind of continuity reference would be inappropriate or alienatingВ…)

As for the В‘plot,В’ such as it was В– why the fuck is he so proud of the Slitheen that cant even let them lie, and introduces an inhabitant of their twin planet. Or whatever the explanation was. If I were being uncharitable, IВ’d take Davies to task on the gaping holesВ… Oh, wait, I am feeling fairly uncharitable. So, sorry, what was KennedyВ’s motivation againВ…? He wanted toВ… eat the Doctor, oh yes. Ah. Glad to see the art of the intelligent plot isnВ’t dead.

Just cos youВ’ve decided to do a В‘concept pieceВ’ on the importance of friendship (ie, a huge bit of sledgehammer-subtle foreshadowing regarding RoseВ’s potential demise) doesnВ’t mean itВ’s acceptable to completely disregard plot. And as for the final paving slab related revelation (which, surely, robs the entire В‘emotional coreВ’ the story seemed to be trying so hard to develop, of its power?), Jesus ChristВ… Actually, I was thinking, if this was, say, a Paul Magrs story, he could probably take all the, erm, more outlandish elements of this script and make them seem perfectly believable, by creating a world consistent with such things, where they wouldnВ’t seem out of placeВ… The trouble here, I think, is that Davies is trying В– albeit in a very cack-handed way В– to make such implausible events co-exist with a pseudo-В‘realisticВ’ harsh world in which there is pain, unfairness, etcВ… Unfortunately, these two approaches completely diffuse one another. Which is not to say that implausible events (even to the degree of living paving slabs) and emotional content are mutually exclusive; however, this episode was so much of a mess that nothing whatsoever gelled. I guess it must be a fine line between having the talent to make such a balancing act work, and just thinking you do. (DonВ’t even get me started on the Scooby-Doo running around at the beginningВ… It wasnВ’t funny and it sure as shit wasnВ’t clever.)

I think my problem with DaviesВ’ scripts, and this lighter approach to Doctor Who is that when I discovered the NAs at about 12, I suddenly realised everything that Doctor Who could be and what it could achieve, and as such, IВ’m still a stickler for a more serious approachВ… (Which is not to say that IВ’m not partial to silliness, so donВ’t think IВ’m completely humourless. (Aargh. Actually, when people say that, they mostly are, arenВ’t they? Bollocks.) IВ’m a fan of Barbarella, for GodВ’s sake! (В“DECRUCIFY THE ANGEL OR IВ’LL MELT YOUR FACE!!!!В”, indeed!))

So, yeah. The thing is, despite that, I tend to find myself watching things like (get me!) Kuroneko, or Six Feet Under, or The New World, or even Fanny & Alexander (things which arenВ’t necessarily of even broadly the same genre (or genres) of Doctor Who), and thinking, Sorry, WHY exactly canВ’t it be this good?!. I guess if those are the sort of standards IВ’m hoping for, IВ’m going to be pretty thoroughly disappointedВ…. But I just think, when youВ’re dealing with a programme, and key concepts, which can do literally anything - fit into any genre, go anywhere - if this is the best non-typical format the current production crew can come up with, then weВ’re in pretty dire straights.



PS Not looking forward to the season finaleВ… Can you imagine how tediously maudlin and wannabe В‘meaningfulВ’ and emotional itВ’s going to be if Rose does cop it? ChristВ…