Rise of the Cybermen

Let's get one thing straight here: there's a reason why the Cybermen were considered second fiddle to the Daleks. To put it rather bluntly, they simply Were. Yeah, sure, they got a little street cred by claiming the lives of one Doctor (the 1st) and a companion (Adric), and the bit with them coming out of the sewers of London in the Patrick Troughton era tale "The Invasion" is one of the defining images of the old series. But at the same time, they looked like thrown together dogshit in "The Tenth Planet" and the look never really got better. The whole "vulernability to gold" thing they threw in during the Tom Baker years got to the point where Daleks-and-stairs seemed like a serious dilemma in comparison. And, despite starting out as a cool concept of a dying race becoming robotic to save itself and then trying to spread the word, they became yet another race of galaxy-conquering-wannabes but without the vicious racism and paranoia that really drives a galaxy-conquest the way the Daleks' did.

Let's get another thing straight here: Alternate universes are passe'. Well, at least to Doctor Who fans what followed either the novels, the audios, or both. Come to think of it, if you ever happened to see Sliders then it's pretty passe' too. The novels, in particular, had not one but two story arcs involving the bastards, with differing results. Contrast it with this harrowing thought: there was only one "AU" story done by the original series - "Inferno." One story in 26 years one television versus gobs of them inside of 15 across two differing media. Yeah. Uh huh.

So you can pretty much guess at this point why I was rolling my eyes quite a bit during "Rise of the Cybermen." Second-rate monsters in a worn-out concept. Huzzah. Mind you, both were better LOOKING than we'd previously seen before. The Cybermen in particular LOOKED nice and menacing and all that. And a zeppelin-filled techno-London was actually a pretty nice touch. (Although it does beg the question why zeppelins? In, say, Watchmen there was the obvious factor of Doctor Manhattan to make enviro-friendly alternative air transport *practical*, but why here?)

As far as the Cybermen go, that's about all that was good. The dialogue was atrocious and Tom MacRae needs to be smacked around for it. "DELETE! DELETE!" Oh, yes, THAT'LL make the Cybermen more threatening, if they talk in Computerese! Upgrade this, jackass. Besides which, how scary can the Cybermen REALLY be when everyone is wearing the Bluetooths of Doom? Why kill the President of Great Britain when you can take over his mind, the very precious organ John Lumic was obsessing over?

Oh yeah, let's talk Lumic for a second. So, I guess on this version of Earth, the Cybermen weren't really from Mondas (or Telos!) and they were instead created by some dude who's a cross between Davros and Tobias Vaughn who pretty much already DOES rule the world? Basically? Well, it would explain both the International Electromatics truck AND the wannabe-Dalek dialogue from the Cybermen, anyway.

Oh, yes, and let's not forget the regulars too! Thrill as the Doctor and Rose snark away and completely forget Mickey! Swoon as Rose and Mickey both do the Completely Obvious and follow Every Single Cliche About Being In An Alternate Universe! (Step 1, visit relatives who are dead in your world but not in this one. Step 2, if at all possible meet your alternate self. Step 3, since this is an alternate dimension it's OBVIOUSLY fascistic in nature, therefore immediately join the Revolution ...)

So, er, yeah. I mean, it was nice to see Rose get her ego deflated a little bit more (and I LIKE Rose but this season she's been BUGGING me more often than not). Although the whole serving girl bit is getting REALLY old REALLY quick. Plus, you know, Rose the Dog. HA HA HA.

Erm....yes it's only Part 1, but Part 2's gonna have to be a WHOLE lot better than this.

And as I asked elsewhere, can we PLEASE ACTUALLY go to an alien world? Please? Not parallel Earth, not "New" Earth, but Planet Nothing At All to Do With Earth? Well, til next week. I guess. Meh.