New Earth

There’s an album by Roxette called “Don’t Bore Us Get To The Chorus”, and that very much sums up Russell T Davies’ “Doctor Who” – which is very much what this is, lest anyone still be in any doubt.

Admittedly, there’s little time for foreplay in 45-minute, self-contained episodes – and, to continue the metaphor, Davies has everyone’s kit off (almost literally in “New Earth”!) and down to business minutes into the episode.

One of the most-appreciable differences between the classic series and the 21st-century version is the lightning-quick pace at which the current vintage is generally delivered. And, if “New Earth” is anything to go by, Series Two is not only going to continue that trend – it’s going to be an even-faster ride.

On the story, had you read any of the previews or even paid a cursory visit to any spoiler sections, you’d have pretty much worked out what it was about and more or less how it was going to pan out.

At least the Doctor Who fan would have – I think the “average” viewer coming to the episode unfettered by too much knowledge (which is so much the best way, shame so few of us can wait) would have found the basics hugely entertaining.

A zip through to the Year Five Billion 23, a hospital run by cat nurses, an encounter with a familiar and popular enemy from the previous series, who body-swapped with both Rose and the Doctor, the revelation that the cats are in fact farming humans for medical research, a few chase scenes, and the Doctor cures the plague-ridden. “Everybody lives”, you might say – well, almost everybody . . .

Sounds great as a prйcis, and worked pretty well on screen. Having said that, I had a pre-series pecking order of the episodes I thought I’d enjoy and would fare best, and “New Earth” was quite low on it – lowest, actually.

Whether that holds true, only viewing of the next 12 episodes (none of which I have seen as I write) will tell. To equate it with an episode from last season in terms of popularity, I’d liken it most to “Rose” – erring towards style over substance, and you’d be surprised if better episodes weren’t on the way.

Yet, like “Rose”, “New Earth” was a tasty hors d’oevres.

The visuals were amazing – well up to, and I think well in excess of last year’s triumphant efforts. Loved the early scenes of New Earth, and the sheer scale of the hospital’s human “pens” was breathtaking for a TV series rather than a big-budget movie.

A huge bonus was the cameo of the Face of Boe. What an absolutely-stunning piece of visual effects that is, and well worth the return visit from last season’s “End Of The World”. Reminds me of a giant Yoda, except the voice has more - and the correct amount of - gravitas!

OK, you could argue the point about why did he feel the need to pull The Doctor all the way to the year Five Billion and 23, only to tell him . . . well, that he had something of great magnitude to tell him, but he wasn’t going to tell him after all.

Hopefully, the denouement will be fitting for a character which I’m sure originally was only a bit part, but has grown into the potential for something more substantial – both metaphorically as well as literally.

Is Boe going to be this season’s Bad Wolf? Possibly not quite – but I can’t wait for his “third” meeting with The Doctor, and it’ll be a great shame if, as he said, it is also the “last”. There is much I, for one, would like to know about Boe . . .

And what of the stars of the show? Hard to imagine anything less than excellence from David Tennant and Billie Piper, and they had loads of good moments here, courtesy of Davies, of course.

I preferred Tennant in “The Christmas Invasion” where, in retrospect, he set far too high a standard – he made a sensational debut in that, and really stole the show.

Of the big two, “New Earth” certainly belonged to Piper. Rose has grown a lot since her first meeting with The Doctor, and looked fabulous here. Piper’s portrayal of the Cassandra-possessed Rose was excellent, bringing Zoe Wanamaker’s character to life perfectly, changing her voice and mannerisms to suit.

Tennant also made a fine job of portraying the Cassandra-possessed Doctor. I’m not sure Davies would have written those scenes for Christopher Eccleston. Tennant would be the better of the two at “camp”!

Great snog between the Cassandra/Rose and the Doctor – and line of the show, “I’ve still got it”, from David Tennant. He really does deliver those plum lines!

I thought the “curing” of the disease-riddled humans by dousing one in the Five Billion equivalent of Dettol and having them “pass it on” was a quick way out rather than a particularly-clever way out.

And, the sudden acceptance of Cassandra that her time was up didn’t really reconcile with anything in the character up until that point – although it did make for a fairly-poignant ending.

I could see the logic in bringing back Cassandra as a link to the previous series and, although it was a pity the “trampoline” version didn’t have much screen time (understandable for cost reasons) she was really brought to life by Piper particularly and Tennant, based on Wanamaker’s original interpretation, of course.

All in all, “New Earth” wasn’t a classic, but a satisfactory season opener, with enough good moments to ensure it’ll be worth the odd revisit.