Bad Wolf

The Doctor wakes up with amnesia, to discover heВ’s a contestant on a futuristic and deadly game of Big Brother. Fantastic idea. Rose wakes up, also with amnesia, to discover sheВ’s playing a futuristic, and just as deadly, game of The Weakest Link. ErВ… pretty good idea. Jack wakes up to discover heВ’s on a futuristic/deadly What Not ToВ… yawn. TwoВ’s company, Russell; threeВ’s padding. The first twenty minutes or so of this episode just drag by, and it doesnВ’t get going at all until the Doctor announces heВ’s going to break out.

Why, oh why, couldnВ’t this episode have been based entirely around the deadly Big Brother concept? It couldВ’ve been so, so good. But instead, weВ’ve got dull scenes of the В“Anne DroidВ” (the jokeВ’s lost on us Aussies) asking countless silly questions, and a naked Jack with two oversized Lego figures, playing dress-ups. What couldВ’ve been a paranoid thriller has been turned into a camp nightmare unparalleled since The Happiness Patrol. And even that was cleverer, with its political agenda!

Oh well. At least weВ’ve got the lovely Jo Joyner as Lynda-with-a-Y, proving that there are better potential companions out there than the nauseating Adam, or even Jack, who I must admit has begun to annoy me a little at this point. He was good in Boom Town, but underused, and his scenes in this episode with those ridiculous robots are truly cringe-worthy. Not John BarrowmanВ’s fault, naturally В– that manВ’s a terrific actor, and perfect for Doctor Who. No, I just donВ’t like this script. Sorry, Russell. I loved what you did with Boom Town, but youВ’re really letting me down here.

Mercifully, things begin to pick up once the DoctorВ’s broken out of the game, and we discover weВ’re back on Satellite Five. The Doctor and Lynda are still being watched, from the Floor Managers on good olВ’ Floor 500. They give great performances, as does the Controller, a very chilling and very well-written character. RoseВ’s final scene with the Anne Droid is nicely suspenseful, and although we all know sheВ’s not really dead, itВ’s nice to watch the Doctor go more melancholy than heВ’s been all series (and thatВ’s saying something). When he breaks out of incarceration with Jack and Lynda, itВ’s with a В“LetВ’s do itВ”, and unfortunately not a В“Now!В”, which in my opinion wouldВ’ve been better. Less hokey. Oh well.

Finally they make it to Floor 500. And finally weВ’re in for some good drama, first from our leads, then from the Controller. I cheered when Jack discovered what was really inside the mysterious Archive 6 В– our trusty TARDIS. And even though I already knew it, I cheered again when Jack told the Doctor heВ’d discovered Rose was still alive. Perhaps it was the look on their faces as they hugged.

And here comes a shock. The Daleks are behind it all. Okay, not a shock in the slightest. But why on earth are the Daleks producing reality TV? And a century before, why were they behind the news stations? I mean, these are Daleks! Actually, I know why. Russell T. Davies. And his obsessions with media manipulation (Aliens of London, The Long Game) and reality TV. Okay, heВ’s running this show, he can do what he likes. But heВ’s also got a reputation as a good storyteller, so why all this self-indulgence? Like Aliens of London, this episode seems just like one forty-five minute private joke. Save it for Torchwood, Russell. This is Doctor Who.

Anyway. The Dalek ships look excellent. CanВ’t tell if theyВ’re models or CGI В– which is a good sign. The Daleks themselves wobble a little, but when it comes down to it, who cares? I certainly donВ’t. The Daleks are scary as everВ… until the army is revealed. IВ’ve hated the look of CGI Daleks ever since I saw The Curse of Fatal Death all those years ago. I know itВ’d blow the budget to make that many Dalek props, but it all just looks so fake this way! Seriously, the last shot just looked like a cartoon! Give me an В“armyВ” of three (like Day of the Daleks) any day.

So in conclusion, Bad Wolf was a big let-down for me. As I said before, it couldВ’ve been brilliant. Joe Ahearne delivered again, as did all the leads, but the weakness of the script, and the CGI Daleks, have put this story down in my bottom three of this series. Sorry.