Bad Wolf

Another Dalek invasion? Of Earth?! ThatВ’s IT?!

LetВ’s just get stuck right in. IВ’m sort of a lapsed Doctor Who fan, and so I wasnВ’t much affected by the pre-emptive new series excitementВ… It was pretty inevitable to me that itВ’d be probably be bad, and if not, well, great, but I wasnВ’t going to get my hopes up. IВ’ve watched all of the episodes up to now and died a little inside, but not quite felt incited to actually SAY anything about it В– someone else (even if itВ’s just one little voice in the background) has been there to mirror my thoughts about how substandard the music/direction/scripts/В…acting, etc etc has been. Then I watched В‘Bad Wolf,В’ and, really, I just wanted to cryВ…

ItВ’s SHOCKING.

By which I mean, fucking awful.

Just to be clear, I donВ’t just hate this series because I feel I should, or because I decided to. Like I say, much as I absolutely adore Doctor Who, it hasnВ’t particularly been part of my everyday life for a few years, so I came to the new series pretty much unbiased. And, for the most part, it didnВ’t provoke a particularly strong reaction in me either way. В‘RoseВ’ and В‘The End of the WorldВ’В… crap, lightweight, blah blahВ… the non-RTD oneВ’s are so much better, heВ’s too flippant, too much juvenile humour/sexuality etc etcВ… But I could deal with it. I have an abiding love for the character of the Doctor and the central concepts of the series that I thought, ehh, much as it might be shite that thereВ’s 12-year-old-level В‘sexual tensionВ’ in the TARDIS, I can weather it. If anything, the worst elements of this series have made me rediscover my absolute love for what is now В‘the classic series,В’ and also for the Virgin/BBC books. So at least thereВ’s one upside.

Maybe the books are the problem though. Having first encountered Doctor Who through a few mid-nineties repeats, it wasnВ’t until I discovered the New Adventures that I found В‘myВ’ Doctor Who, and realized how completely special and unique and beautiful and wonderful it is. (Or: can be.) And probably because of that, IВ’ve never particularly viewed the program as В‘justВ’ a kidsВ’ show. IВ’ve always kind of watched it knowing that thereВ’s so much else going on, thanks to the depths of the novels. Which isnВ’t to say IВ’m a revisionist NA-nut. OrВ…whatever. But I like my Doctor Who to work on a few more levels than your average episode of fucking Balamory. Which is, letВ’s be honest, pretty much the level weВ’re operating on with this series. I hate when people seem to have this attitude that when Doctor Who tries to do something a bit more than В‘aliens invade, aliens repelledВ’ itВ’s sort of В‘getting above its stationВ’. That certainly seems to be the attitude in this series. WHY does it have to be В‘a kidsВ’ seriesВ’?! Or, why, if youВ’re trying to attract kids/a family audience, why does that mean there can be no intelligence whatsoever? Why does ever single little thing have to be spoon-fed?! В‘His Dark Materials,В’ for example, appeals to kids and adult. В‘His Dark Materials,В’ is also, you know В– good. The ideas, the scale, the characterization, lack of fart-jokesВ… I hate that even Doctor Who, this time around, has succumbed to dumbing down, to spoon-feeding itВ’s audience, desperately trying to keep the attention of the lumpen proles itВ’s apparently targeting, and sell loads of tacky merchandise.

Why the hell isnВ’t Doctor Who allowed to be, wellВ… GOOD. To be В‘a quality productionВ’. With intelligence, maybe a bit of flair in the direction department (heaven forbid!), less flashy-but-crap special effects (okay, okay, I know В– judge it in terms of a TV series, not by comparison to a film, but...youВ’re going to, arenВ’t you, really, and so - they look shit. And, oh yes, theyВ’d look shit even if you didnВ’t compare it to a film). The thing is, who cares? None of the Doctor Who stories considered to be classics are thought of as such because of the effects, for GodВ’s sake! I donВ’t give a crap about effects. Then or now! Surely if weВ’re fans of *Doctor Who* we shouldnВ’t care in the slightest about special effects. Who else is going to be more aware that they DONВ’T MATTER В– surely if we DID give a crap, we WOULDNВ’T BE DOCTOR WHO FANS.

These are the reasons I loathed В‘Bad WolfВ’. But more specifically: IВ’m not hugely keen on the Ninth Doctor/Rose, etc, but, at the same time, when theyВ’re treated as actual characters (В‘The Empty Child,В’ even В‘DalekВ’), then В– fine. But RTD doesnВ’t do that. They В– and everyone else В– become these empty ciphers. (Especially Mickey and Jackie. I know this isnВ’t exactly new ground, but В– seeing as everyone seems to be warming to them as the series has progressed (what? WHAT?!) В– I just would like to say that in every one of their appearances I would STILL like to bludgeon them to death with an iron stick. SorryВ… I digress.)

В‘Bad WolfВ’. Oh, fuck it, I hate to resort to a list, but: the sets from В‘The Long GameВ’ are STILL sub-В‘Paradise TowersВ’ SHIT. The androids are somehow no better than those from В‘The Greatest Show in the GalaxyВ’. The pathetic, excruciatingly slow way in which the laser (whatever) comes out of the Anne DroidВ’s mouth is so crude itВ’sВ… excruciating. The DaleksВ’ ship set looks like theyВ’re about to start playing Quasar. Oh, and that hysterical end-of-В‘More Than 30 Years in the TARDISВ’-style shot at the end, with all the poorly computer generated flying Daleks hovering for NO REASON. PlusВ… oh yes. В‘Big BrotherВ’. Et al. I canВ’t even be bothered to muster the vitriol I feel about that whole aspectВ…. В‘Ooh, itВ’s so quirky, itВ’s like Land of Fiction shitВ…В’ NO - itВ’s lazy and shallow and embarrassing (В‘Whoa, weВ’re so postmodern!В’ / В‘WeВ’ve got the voices of a few fatuous presenters no-one even likes!! Result!В’). Why does no-one ever EVER give any thought to how dated the thingВ’ll look in a few years, which В– considering the shelf-life of existing Doctor Who В– is something of an oversight.

Plus, Captain Jack pulling a gun out of his arse В– oh, ha ha, how funny (itВ’s not exactly В‘Fenric,В’ is it?).

I know maybe this all sounds a bit flippant, or willfully negative, or whatever В– but thatВ’s just because I probably couldnВ’t even begin to express how unutterably depressing I found this story В– the epitome of everything thatВ’s been bad about the whole WINO series (Who In Name Only В– has anyone else used that? Ooh IВ’ve still got itВ…). I love love LOVE Doctor Who, I really do. It saddens me to see it so pathetically dumbed down. Which isnВ’t to say, of course, that it hasnВ’t been pretty В‘lightВ’ before. But at those points where it as strayed towards that territory, thereВ’s been no pretence at making it anything other than light family fun. And thatВ’s fine, thereВ’s a dignity there. At least, if thatВ’s the way youВ’ve decided to approach it, then thereВ’s consistency there. But RTD tries to have his cake and eat it. Not only is the feel of the series as a whole wildly inconsistent, but within his own stories, heВ’s tried to В‘doВ’ funny/postmodern/В‘lightВ’, but at the same time set up this В‘huge,В’ supposedly В‘epicВ’ plot, whichВ…oh hang on, simply involves the same two words being unceremoniously crow-barred into the scripts (oh, yeah В– could not BELIEVE it when we got a flashback of each and every referenceВ… IВ’d thought earlier, Oh, ha, ha, imagine if they sunk that lowВ…! Then, they do, and take away any of the effectiveness those references might otherwise have had.). At first, I actually quite liked the Bad Wolf references В– the fact that it was allowed to remain enigmatic, not cop-out early on was pretty effective, butВ…thatВ’d only remain true if they actually built up to something suitably big and epic and awe-inspiring over the course of the later stories. Okay, we have one more episode left, but В– thatВ’s my point; rather than trying to wring all the revelatory impact from the VERY LAST episode, couldnВ’t the concept have been fully explored and built up over at least the last couple of stories, not continue to be relegated to increasingly unsubtle (and obligatory) throwaway references?!

JESUS CHRIST. ItВ’s all so grim. And then people lap it up. OkayВ… if you like it, fine - but I canВ’t help wonder how much of a TV Movie situation this is going to develop into; everyone loved that at first (because it was new!), but then realized how shoddy it was! It ticks me off that WINO is so cynically aimed at the widest possible audienceВ… The choices theyВ’ve made in terms of their В‘visionВ’ for the series seems so spineless В– everythingВ’s so simple, so black and white (even when they tried to introduce a little ambiguity in В‘Boom Town!,В’ they ended up copping out with the, В‘Oh, she was evil after all, how convenientВ’ ending). It strikes me as taking the easy way out; why canВ’t there be a bit more darkness, more В‘horror,В’ if you will, to highlight the DoctorВ’s moral standpoint? Which can still work with humour В– just not the patented RTD wannabe-witticisms; something a bit drier, maybe. If onlyВ…

Okay, perhaps this is just because I canВ’t share well, but I donВ’t give a crap about wider audiences being able to enjoy the joy that is (should be) Doctor Who! If В‘a wider audienceВ’ didnВ’t appreciate В‘Ghost Light,В’ or whatever then В– their loss! I know, to a certain extent, the series has got to be able to support itself with ratings etc, but, to be quite honest, are you *that* desperate that you take vapid, intellectually devoid wide-audience-compatible Doctor Who over no Doctor Who at all? Personally, give me Doctor Who with some depth, or just axe the bastard thing.