Rose

Tuning in to the first episode of the BBC’s new Doctor Who series you may have been a little overwhelmed – I know I was. After the opening titles we hurtle from space down onto a CGI representation of Britain; we see a montage of shop girl Rose waking up, getting up, leaving home, working, eating; a speeded-up recording of London life flickers by. Music pumps noisily in the foreground all the while. Perhaps unsurprisingly, as it comes from the pen of the ebullient Russell T Davies, it is hyperactive television – bright, noisy, unfocussed and occasionally slightly incoherent. This is certainly Doctor Who for a new generation of kids: it is absolutely buzzing with e-numbers!

Yes, ‘Rose’, and probably any 1-part episode of 45-50 minutes’ duration, is too short to tell stories of Doctor Who’s traditional scale and length. Nevertheless, it makes sense and holds together as a story very well – but the only way for it to do this is to scrimp on the explanations. How did the Nestene Consciousness get there and get established under London? How did it know to copy Mickey and how did the real one get to its secret lair? How did the mannequins (never once referred to as Autons) get to all those different places – didn’t the Doctor blow them up? And how come they had guns inside, who made them?

Watching ‘Rose’ is a rewarding and fairly enjoyable experience, but very frustrating. Frustrating because it has been spoilered so heavily; frustrating because for every great scene (such as the Doctor’s confrontation with the Consciousness) there is a stupid one (the replica Mickey – and yes, I know it’s all a joke on how shallow his personality is anyway); frustrating because for every laugh-out-loud scene (Rose’s chav mother catching on about half a minute later than the other shoppers that the Autons are slaughtering everyone!) there is a crude and annoying one (such as that dustbin burping – it hasn’t got a digestive tract, for heaven’s sake!) And it is frustrating because actually, it is not the old Doctor Who that we all love, but something tantalisingly close to it.

Basically, ‘Rose’ is ‘alright’. Chris is alright, Billie is okay, the Autons are rather poor, the CGI is rather excellent, the guest cast are pretty good, the TARDIS is fine, the plot and humour are mostly great but sometimes dodgy. The atmosphere is non-existent. There were two bits that I absolutely loved; Mickey trying to look hard in his clapped-out yellow Beetle; and everything featuring Clive, an allegory of you and me (and a surprisingly flattering one when you consider Light and Bellboy!)

The Doctor himself can get rather lost in all this, which is unfortunate. Whether or not the uninitiated would be enthralled and hooked by this portrayal of the Doctor I honestly don’t know, as I can’t step outside myself enough to see. The idea is clearly that he has very recently regenerated, perhaps while in the course of setting his pre-existing plan to defeat the Autons in motion – perhaps the Eighth Doctor had a run-in with the Autonised managerial team of Henrik’s store? This explains his baffling mood swings, which are initially engaging and funny but become disconcerting. He is alternately nice and callous. If we assume that the former characteristic is the remnant of the Eighth Doctor’s personality slipping away (getting a bit fannish with the theorising here), then maybe the callousness is this Doctor’s true underlying persona beginning to coagulate? It can be rather shocking, particularly his lack of care for Rose’s boyfriend on the Embankment. And while the Seventh Doctor was hammily evil in an enjoyable way, even Tom Baker in his worst moods never actually seemed dangerous to his friends. 

Finally, Russell, in the TARDIS’ five-second sojourn towards the episode’s end, has generously and far-sightedly provided us with the first new series ‘gap’ for solo adventures, which the forthcoming novels and audios can exploit forever!!

Seven out of ten.