Silver Nemesis

For Doctor Who's twenty-fifth anniversary season, the production team commissioned a story that still divides fandom to this day; a story in which the Doctor uses an ancient Gallifreyan super weapon to destroy an old enemy, which appropriately enough is one of the series' most popular and enduring monsters. The story also tries to reintroduce mystery to the character of the Doctor with hints that he worked with Rassilon and Omega, and features a Nazi who forms an alliance with the monsters, only to be killed by them in the final episode. In fact, the production team considered this plot to be so good that they then commissioned it again…

I love 'Remembrance of the Daleks', as I stated when I reviewed it. Given then that 'Silver Nemesis' has the same plot, one might be forgiven for expecting me to hold it in equally high esteem, whereas in fact I consider it to complete and utter shite. For obvious reasons, I can't really condemn the basic plot, but whereas 'Remembrance of the Daleks' is a fast-paced exciting story 'Silver Nemesis' somehow makes use of its shorter length to be far more padded and tedious. Which is, in a sense, impressive. I should probably note at this point that I haven't seen the broadcast version since its original transmission, and am instead reviewing the nineteen ninety-three video release, which contains extra material. In keeping with the story, it was packaged in an unusually gaudy and tasteless cover. In general, I welcome extended versions of televised Doctor Who stories for interest alone if nothing else, but 'Silver Nemesis' is a story I need more of about as much as I need a swift kick to the testicles. 

Anyway, to drag myself back to the point, why is 'Silver Nemesis' so crap? Let us begin with the Cybermen. With the exception of the flawed but entertaining 'Earthshock', the Cybermen have become increasingly weakened during their colour television stories and although 'Silver Nemesis' doesn't quite plumb the depths of either 'Revenge of the Cybermen' or 'Attack of the Cybermen', it comes perilously close. Initially, they seem well served by the story; their appearance at the end of Episode One produces a cheap fannish thrill, and they have been slightly redesigned to give them a sleeker, shiner look. This is possibly because 'Silver Nemesis' is the silver anniversary story and the Cybermen were allegedly included because they are silver, although this can't possibly be true because if it were it would mean that writer Kevin Clarke is an idiot and a hack. Anyway, the Cybermen look rather good here. I also, as usual, enjoy David Banks's performance as the Cyber Leader, and he particularly benefits here from the fact that the Cybermen are less emotional than they are sometimes portrayed. Happily, they are also once more bullet proof, striding through a hail of high-velocity rounds from Nazi machine guns without the slightest difficulty. Unhappily however, the spectre of their old gold allergy reappears to a ludicrous degree. I could almost cope with Cybermen that carry special gold detectors and recoil from the stuff with a noise that makes them sound as though they've sat on their cybernetic knackers, but I can't cope with gold-tipped arrows and gold coins fired from a catapult penetrating chest panels that bullets ricochet off. Luckily for everyone present, not only do their chest panels crumple like tissue paper when struck by gold, but also Lady Peinforte has arrows with gold heads. Since these would be pointless under any other imaginable circumstances, it is fortunate that amongst her main opponents in her quest to regain the Nemesis, she happens to find herself fighting aliens that are vulnerable to gold. But not bullets. That would be silly.

With only three episodes available for his story, Kevin Clarke decides not merely to use the Cybermen as villains, but also some Nazis and a time travelling madwoman accompanied by a nincompoop. If this sounds unwise, bear in mind that 'Silver Nemesis' still manages to be both padded and tedious. Largely this is because the characterisation of every single character including the regulars is appalling. The Nazis in particular suffer; having obtained the services of an actor of Anton Diffring's calibre, John Nathan-Turner unwisely casts him a story, which sees him aiming longbows at parrots and asking aliens if they are familiar with Wagner. Just in case we don't realize that these are Nazis, they are listening to "Ride of the Valkeyries" when we first see them in Episode One, immediately making it clear to anyone who has ever seen Blues Brothers that they are very naughty men. De Flores and his henchmen, especially Karl, are awful characters; having arrived in London they travel to Windsor to obtain the Nemesis in full uniform, which strikes me as conspicuous to say the least. De Flores tells the Cybermen that the Doctor is no ordinary foe, despite having only met him very briefly and seemingly having no foreknowledge of him. Later, he throws strolls casually out of Peinforte's tomb as though enjoying the weather despite having a group of armoured Cybermen behind him who are about to kill him. More on the weather later, by the way.

Then we have Lady Peinforte. Like Diffring, Fiona Walker does her best with the character, a thoroughly evil woman who knows the Doctor of old and is potentially rather interesting. As things transpire however, she isn't; the temporal displacement of her and Richard is an excuse for some woefully attempts at humour, most notably the execrable scene with Dolores Gray. And also the scenes with the skinheads, who mistake Peinforte and Richard for social workers and end up hanging nearly naked from a tree. By Episode Three, she then becomes a stock raving lunatic, uttering lines such as "All things shall be mine", "Oh, glorious evil!" and generally crooning and cackling. The single occasion on which the dubious humour involving Peinforte and Richard manages to amuse me is the scene in Episode Two, when Peinforte, surveying the battle between Cybermen and Nazis, turns to him only to find him praying in terror, and hears him say "I will look after the sick, which reminds me, I will return to Briggs his money". Speaking of Richard, he starts out in Episode One as a willing and loyal accomplice of Peinforte, who looks cruelly at the mathematician and notes that they need human blood for Peinforte's potion, and later becomes a comic relief buffoon whom the Doctor gives a lift home, whereupon Richard happily plays music to entertain him and Ace. Draw your own conclusions. 

Thus, 'Silver Nemesis' has three sets of villains, and the net result of this is that they all spend Episodes Two and Three meandering around Windsor in search of bits of the Nemesis. And it is so very, very boring. Added to this, is the fact that it all seems very sloppy and unconvincing; a large meteorite lands near Windsor and three policemen are sent to investigate. They are overcome by Cyber technology, but no other policemen turn up to see what happened to them and nobody else comes to investigate the crater. The script tells us that the story is set in England in November, but everybody is wearing t-shirts and Mrs. Remington tells Richard and Peinforte that they must be very hot having been standing in the sun. There is also a twee suggestion that the Nemesis is responsible for the evils of humanity every twenty-five years, which is just crass.

As if all of this rot weren't bad enough, we can't even turn to the regulars for solace. I quite like seeing the Doctor and Ace relaxing and listening to Courtney Pine in Episode One, but this is spoiled by the apparent contrivance of the Doctor's alarm reminding him of danger; he can't remember what it signifies, or which planet is in danger, but as luck would have it, it turns out that he needs to be on Earth in the exact time and place that he has already landed in. It's established later on that most of what happens is part of an elaborate trap to finish off the Cybermen in much the same way as he finished off the Daleks two stories previously (in an attempt to brazen it out, the script includes the line "Just like you nailed the Daleks"), but his confusion over the alarm seems genuine. The extra footage included on the video release also highlights the fact that at best McCoy's performance here is half-hearted and at worst it is simple dire. The scene with the Queen and her corgis is not only facile in its own right, it also results in McCoy uttering the lines "quick - after her!" and "Ah-ha!" in the most stilted way imaginable. This is as nothing however, compared to the extra scene in which the Doctor hypnotizes the security guards by peering myopically throw some spectacles and barking feeble dialogue at them in an unconvincing manner. Ace fares even worse, save for a single scene in which she confesses that the Cybermen terrify her, which is a nice character moment, but isn't enough to compensate for lines like "Now you'd better listen to him weasel features, 'cos he's the Doctor" and "Let them kill me Doctor! Don't surrender!", and of course, Aldred's usual tepid performance. I also find it highly annoying that she keeps going on about the Cybermen saving her life, which they blatantly didn't do on purpose. 

In summary then, 'Silver Nemesis' is a right load of old toss. And on that note, I'll leave it be.