The Web Planet

This is madness! “We’ve wandered off our astral plane,” says the Doctor at one point, and he’s not wrong. This is Doctor Who - Timothy Leary style!

The Web Planet is often accused of being boring, but apart from episodes four and five dragging a bit, this is highly entertaining stuff. Of course you do need a similar sense of humour to me, and find amusement in things that make absolutely no sense, and on that score The Web Planet is a laugh riot.

It’s one big acid trip two years before such things were popular: giant talking insects, a story so garbled you wonder if they’re still speaking English, weird sets and lots of (presumably) coloured flashing lights.

William Hartnell is at his most incomprehensible – not just the famous line-forgetting scene in the TARDIS that leaves poor William Russell with a baffled look on his face, but throughout the first few episodes he rambles constantly, often laughing in the middle of sentences for no apparent reason and running around like a monkey, or a toddler with attention deficit order. He only shuts up when he’s been hypnotized by a big gold wishbone.

I found Vicki a pleasantly bland presence after having to sit through seven episodes of Carol Ann Ford’s hyperactivity last week during a viewing of The Daleks. She doesn’t scream at all really, which is great, and she gurgles quite horribly when covered in sticky web stuff. Ian and Barbera have pretty much the same roles as in The Daleks, though, clambering through caves and whipping the locals up into the obligatory suicide mission.

The worst bit is where the Menoptra and Barbara annoy a Zarbi by shouting “Zarbiiii!!” at it, which is all very Tellytubby in execution, as are the Optra who cheapen the whole experience when on screen. By hopping.

The best bit is the Menoptra attack – the sight of the Menoptra in flight is graceful, very very psychedelic and oddly moving. No, the best bit is where the Zarbi runs head first into one of the studio cameras – not so much because it happens, but because it’s so obviously going to happen.