The Underwater Menace

The most surprising thing about The Underwater Menace is its appalling reputation. This is hardly one of the worst Doctor Who stories ever, its not even the worst story of season four (that belongs to the horribly dull The Faceless Ones) and taken as a whole (I listened to the audio of episodes one, two and four with Anekke Wills excellent narration with the aid of telesnaps from DWM and of course I watched the infamous episode three on DVD) it is actually a great deal of fun. Of course it is impossible to take the thing seriously for a million and one reasons but it has some effective moments and the story flows along nicely and (surprisingly considering how cheap this story is known for) there are some lovely visuals too. I kid you not. I put of listening to this BBC audio for quite some time and only surrendered when I was so bored one day there was no other options. 

Most terrifying of all is Joseph Furst’s stratospheric performance as the evil and misguided Professor Zarroff. Isn’t he great? Finally a villain who is bad because he just totally around the twist, a Master before his time and just like the Doctor’s arch fiend his motives are just as crazy. He wants to destroy the entire world (and Atlantis)…just because! Why not? It would make him the most amazing scientist in the world to achieve such a feat…although he doesn’t seem to realise he himself will be destroyed along with everyone else because he…is on the Earth himself! Furst plays the part as OTT as it is possible to get, screaming like a loony, brandishing guns in as camp a fashion as possible and laughing like a totally loon even when he is real trouble. His eventual fate is a shame, drowning along with Atlantis as this denies us a re-match with this most memorable of baddies. A mad scientist with a big bad octopus as a pet who wants to blow up the entire world for a laugh…what a guy!

Setting a story in Atlantis is always a dubious idea but they manage to pull it off with a reasonable amount of style, certainly with more effort than the Doctor’s next visit to the esteemed lost city, The Time Monster. I quite like the sets overall even if they are a bit cramped in places. Especially good are the fish people tank which helps to convince this is underwater (whilst they do their crazy underwater ballet you can actually see water bubbles floating towards the surface) and the temple of Amdo, which is full of echo-ey and full of shadows and pretty creepy. Even the market place with its stalls, springs and a host of extras is pretty good. 

Most distracting of all is the horrific incidental music, which accompanies the story. It sounds like it has been performed by some mad drunk Australian on a kazoo! It is really distracting in places plink, plink, plonking its way through the marketplace and the fish person dance…you can squeeze your buttocks together and let rip some delicious farts that sound just like it! Hardly good for building up the atmosphere, the music I fear does contribute to this stories silly reputation. 

The regulars however all come across very well, including Patrick Troughton who is still clearly finding his feet at this stage. It would be in the next two stories, The Moonbase and The Macra Terror where you would see Troughton finally settle and become the dangerous little imp he would always be known as but there are strong signs of that here too, its just the script doesn’t let him play to all his strengths. He gets to fight the system as always but he is still a little muted, still dressing up in silly costumes (I’m glad this was dropped…although his old woman gypsy persona is probably his best yet!) and still holding back from really letting rip on the bad guys. Still his scenes with Zarroff are a delight, pampering to the nutters ego and then trying to foil his schemes however possible. I love his attempts to go back and save Zarroff at the end, that feels very right and his boasting at the end that of course he can control the TARDIS before to spirals madly out of control is classic Troughton clowning. 

In a story packed with companions somebody has to be left out and this time it is Jaime, who was never supposed to be included anyway and was added to the script at a late stage. Who cares, he looks damn hot in divers gear so I’ll forgive him anything. Polly finally succumbs to the helpless screamer state the 60’s demand of its female companions (she has been surprisingly resistant until this point) and wails and moans as scientists surround her attempt to turn her into a fish person. I love it when she dresses up later and gets in on all the fun of chasing around and getting tricked by Zarroff, it is proof of how good the combination of her and Ben was before they were abruptly written out. As for Ben, what can one say. What a babe. If there was ever a TARDIS crew I would like to dive into naked…oh sorry, distracted for a second. Ben is cool, a mouthy cockney years before Rose, a muscle brain who is fiercely loyal…there really isn’t much to not like about Ben. Michael Craze seems to be aware of how absurd the script is but still gives 100% and gets a fab moment when he pretends to be the false God Amdo. He dresses up too, so they are all in the fancy dress mood in this one! 

Most of the other guest performances are pretty subdued but then any acting would seem mil mannered next to Fursts! You get a nice turn from Noel Johnson, Tom Watson and Catherine Howe as Leader, High Priest and Slave…all trying their hardest to salvage some dignity from the absurd script and lend some believability to Atlantis. They don’t really succeed but all praise for their efforts. 

Did director Julia Smith (creator of Eastenders and this…ooh she’s got a lot to answer for!) fall asleep during the production and let her actors just carry on? There are a number of hilariously bad sequences that never fail to make me chuckle! What about when Zarroff pretends to be dying and asks is he can be helped up by his captor Ramo so he can ‘feel the goodness of his aura!’ and then he subsequently spears him to death! Or Zarroff’s mad laughing through the caves as he drags Polly along to be his hostage? Or best of all…his “You are a fool! You are a fool!” mad man speech at the end of episode three climaxing with (well it had to get mentioned sooner or later) “Nothing in the world can stop me now!” In fact all the rubbishy scenes involve Zarroff in one way or another but considering he is so damn likeable because of it I cannot bring upon me to condemn the story. 

And the script? Who on Earth would write a story containing Atlantis, an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman, a cross dressing Doctor, Fish People, a mad sacrificing cult and big camp scheme to blow up the world? What was Geoffrey Orme on and can I have some please? 

Ridiculously fun throughout and played mostly tongue in cheek so you don’t die of embarrassment whilst watching/listening, The Underwater Menace is a pretty silly story in a time when Doctor Who was consistently good. Saying that, its never boring and has some scenes in it that you will never forget the rest of your life. Just don’t go into it expecting a masterpiece of drama and you may just have a lot of fun with it.