The Gunfighters

Okay, I'm reviewing this because no one else wanted to. Basically this is one of my least watched episodes because... No, I don't want to say it yet. Because once it starts, it can't stop. 

The story starts out when the Doctor, Steven and Dodo land in the Wild, Wild West; Tombstone to be precise, right next to the O.K. Corral. The Doctor has a toothache and so they decide that the best thing to do is to get it fixed right where they are because the Wild West is known for its hygiene and dental technology. They can go anywhere in time and space, but decide to stay in a place where the only anesthesia is a bottle of the ol' rot gut. So they go across town to look for a dentist and...So fill up your glasses/ And join in the song/The Law's right behind you/ And it won't take long. So come, you coyotes/ And howl at the moon/Till there's blood upon the sawdust/ In "The Last Chance" Saloon.

Stop it! I'm trying to tell the story here! Well, as I was saying, the Doctor gets his tooth pulled by none other than Doc Holliday, whom the Clantons are gunning for and...With rings on their fingers/ And bells on their toes/ The girls come to Tombstone/ In their high-silk hose. They'll dance on the tables/Or sing you a tune/For what's in your wallet/At "The Last Chance" Saloon.

I said stop! Anyway the Doctor is mistaken for Doc Holiday and the Clantons...There's gamblers from Denver/ There's guns from the South/And many a cowboy/With a dry, dry mouth. There's a ragtime piano/ And a small back room/ For to sleep off your troubles/ In "The Last Chance" Saloon.

CUT IT OUT! So the Doctor is thrown in jail after he single handedly, while Steven is on his way to be lynched...You've a good chance of swinging/ It's your last chance to hide/ And your last chance of singing/ Till your last long ride. It's your last chance of cussing/At your hard-earned doom/ It's your last chance of nothing/ At "The Last Chance" Saloon.

AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH! Stop it! Please, please stop! 

And that's pretty much the story. You follow the action, and then they force that song on you. It's torture! TORTURE!

When it comes down to it, if you can skip the song (and the incredibly bad western accents), it's really a great little story. It's all a case of mistaken identity and revenge in the Wild West. It's important to note that the episode is obviously a broad comedy, which is undermined by that awful song "The Ballad of the Last Change Saloon". It was written as a follow-up to the tongue-in-cheek "The Myth Makers" as that was a pleasurable experience for both producer John Wiles and story editor Donald Tosh. 

It starts out with Steven and Dodo realizing they're in the Old West, then dressing up in the most god-awful, stereotypical western clothes that you might find a small boy wearing at the Universal City Walk on Halloween. It's hysterical! In fact, one of the funniest moments of the entire series of Doctor Who is at the end of Episode One where the Clantons force Steven to sing at gunpoint as Dodo plays the piano. I was reminded of Buster Keaton, it's that funny. Peter Purves is a comic genius as he reluctantly sing that awful song...Johnny Ringo has found her/ Johnny Ringo's found Kate/The gunslinger's got her/Now what is her fate?/Johnny Ringo has seen her/She's coming his way/Johnny Ringo and Katie/Were lovers, they say.

That doesn't mean I want you to sing it! 

Really the thing that ruins this episode for me is the production values. It's a very funny episode, but it isn't produced that way. The reason why is that both Wiles and Tosh left Doctor Who, and were replaced by producer Innes Lloyd and story editor Gerry Davis. They disliked the historical genre, and disliked comedic episodes more, as they had a more serious vision of Doctor Who. They deliberately try to portray a Bonanza episode, but it's totally not what the script calls for, and writer Donald Cotton wasn't happy about it. And in inserting that incredible annoying song...So the cards they are drawn and/The chips they are down/Them outlaws and lawmen/Are headin' for town. So them bad cruel outlaws/ Are meeting up soon/ And they've had their last drink in/ "The Last Chance" Saloon.

Don't you start! The song really takes away from the story. It's incredibly annoying! Especially in episode one where they play it every two minutes, and that's the problem. It is played so much. But you have to give them kudos for trying something new and different. It's a very different format for Doctor Who, especially at that time when the other stories surrounding it are very much regular Doctor Who stories. But it would have been a much better, tighter episode without the song.

The episode is not historically accurate as the idea was to portray the mythical version of the gunfight at the O.K. Corral that everyone knew. According to the website Doctor Who: A Brief History Of Time (Travel) (http://www.physics.mun.ca/~sps/drwho.html): "In truth, Earp was not the sheriff of Tombstone, and in fact had failed in his attempts to bribe his way into that position (his brother Virgil had become deputy marshal of Cochise County, which included Tombstone, in the same manner). Earp and Doc Holliday were both gamblers, and the Clantons were essentially a rival gang. After Wyatt's efforts to frame the Clantons for murder failed, he confronted them outside the O.K. Corral with Virgil, their brother Morgan, and Holliday, and gunned the Clantons down -- although Ike Clanton (and possibly one other member of his gang, which included Billy Clanton, Frank and Tom McLaury and, according to some sources, Billy Claiborne) escaped."

It's worth it to see at least once, just keep the remote handy to mute that terrible, terrible song-So beware all you cowboys/ Who's a-yearning' to sin/If the Earps is the lawmen/You ain't gonna win

I give up.