Army of Ghosts

Monday, 3 July 2006 - Reviewed by Frank Collins

Pride comes before a fall, they say. How ironic that on the day that England bowed out of the 2006 World Cup, Yvonne Hartman has the gall to assume the British Empire will rise again, Rule not, Britannia! The series has constantly tapped into themes of nationalism and identity formed in the crucible of the post-war decline of Britain as a world power and the timing of this episode was truly bizarre - we were beaten by the Portugese and then invaded by Cybermen AND Daleks. How much more can the countryВ’s psyche take!

From the opening pre-credit sequence through to the nerve-shredding cliffhanger, this episode in particular closes the circle of narrative started in В‘RoseВ’. The opening narration is a clever and moving summary of entire development of Rose as a character. Complete with buses, chips, majestic alien landscapes and the two Doctors so dear to her heart. But this relationship with the sorcerorВ’s apprentice of time and space is showing its age, cracking open just like the fault lines in the universe so wonderfully illustrated in Torchwood HQ. That direct narrative, so Bergmanesque, is telling us that Rose Tyler will die. But is this going to be a physical death? Or rather, the death of a soul, RoseВ’s soul, as the journey comes full circle.

Once again, we have Graeme Harper giving us that agonising slow burn approach, gradually ratcheting up the tension and astutely relieving it with some lovely bits of comedy business. His direction was quite superb, especially with the reveal of the Cybermen. There were echoes of В‘Tomb Of The CybermenВ’ and В‘EarthshockВ’ visually as he went into a frenzy of editing as they burst through the polythene walls. He used the plastic to obscure their figures in a lovely cross reference to the В‘almost like a military displayВ’ blurred figures of the ghost-shift. Lots of big close-ups too В– with faces and objects looming out of the screen. Visual tips of the hat to В‘Evil Of The DaleksВ’ (TARDIS on a truck), Raiders Of The Lost Ark (TorchwoodВ’s alien archive), Men In Black and James Bond movies (the design of Torchwood itself).

Narrative nods to the past withYvonne using the energy of the В‘ghost-shiftВ’ echoing Professor StahlmanВ’s desperate search for alternate energy sources in В‘InfernoВ’ and the various В‘energy crisesВ’ often featured in the classic series. And we all know there will be a price to pay.

The important scenes, apart from the moody pre-credits, included the DoctorВ’s В‘horrificВ’ reaction to JackieВ’s observation of families coming back home as В‘beautifulВ’ and the brief scene where Jackie predicts RoseВ’s future with the Doctor. She sees a figure who В‘isnВ’t Rose TylerВ’ В– В‘not even humanВ’ in 50 years time. Both scenes reinforce many of the themes that have been running through the series as a whole. The Doctor doesnВ’t do В‘domesticВ’ and is horrified at the thought of families being reunited. Does he think the dead should stay dead? And is Rose now effectively dead to her own mother? Jackie canВ’t recognise this woman Rose has become and doesnВ’t even think she is human. Has RoseВ’s humanity already started to drain out of her because of her desire to be with the Doctor (and not with her family) В‘foreverВ’? Again, the narrative arcs back to В‘Parting Of The WaysВ’ in that this is the perhaps the pay-off for Rose getting ideas above her station and having airs and graces. Class mobility on a galactic scale seems to be a running theme. And one scene that should imprint itself forever is the В‘no escape at the top of the stairsВ’ Cyberman assault on Joe PublicВ’s two up, two down in deepest, darkest Home Counties Britain. The Cyberman at the top of the stairs should leave most children dreading bed time!

And only Russell T Davies could take the В‘mother-in-lawВ’ gag to new heights. Tennant and Coduri have a field day in some very amusing interplay when Jackie becomes Rose for a day! JackieВ’s lip-curling as Yvonne shows off TorchwoodВ’s assets is priceless and the DoctorВ’s horror at the thought of Torchwood recording his adventures in time and space with Jackie in tow was very amusing. Again, Davies also roots the story in the culture of the day with the brief TV cameos В– the best being the scenes from В‘EastendersВ’. They were perhaps a little self-indulgent and didnВ’t quite help the pay-off, particularly the scene of the Cyberman strangling TV host Alastair Appleton which although funny seemed too much of a stretch for me.

As the pressure cooker build up advanced, Murray GoldВ’s music really came into its own here. I donВ’t think he put a note wrong and the interlocking Cyberman and Dalek themes at the end were a fitting crescendo to the cliffhanger.

Thematically, we have an instance of the positive regression phenomenon all the way through the narrative; it is about going back over the same ground in order to go on, back through the layers of the unconscious in order to mature. Certainly for the Doctor and Rose this is the case В– a re-match with the Cybermen and the Daleks and loved ones from the parallel Earth reappearing В– indicates that this is the closing of a narrative in order to take stock, change and move on.

The Dalek sphere, denoting the В‘voidВ’ and В‘absenceВ’, is surely mirroring aspects of their being. They are void of pity, have an absence of compassion and humanity. But the sphere is also perhaps a reflection of humanity, is it our own nature being reflected back? Are the Daleks representative of our darkest unconscious drives, some of which are expressed in the hubris of the Torchwood agenda?

The ghosts (people who are not actually present) also provoke strong irrational outbursts of emotion, as if their invisible presence is felt long after they have left the room or are far away e.g. Grandad Prentice. Rose could also be viewed as a В‘ghostВ’ in relationship to her mother. The ghosts represent an aspect of the invisible psyche buried in the unconscious of which the ghost is only an image, representing that inner force. The ghosts are our own loss, our own guilt personified and this is really manifested when the in-human Cybermen materialise in their place. The Cybermen are a symbol of the institutionalised В‘loss of humanityВ’. And guilt personified comes in the form of brave Mickey Smith В– defending the Earth. He is still an important cog in the machinery of RoseВ’s life, reminding her of her humanity in contrast to the void at the centre of the Lonely GodВ’s unsettled journey through time and space.

A quick word about the regular cast - Tennant perhaps the best he's ever been here after some ups and downs throughout the series and Piper on the mark as ever. I felt that Camille Coduri got sidelined after the hilarious 'mother-in-law' routine and ended up standing about saying little for too long. Tracey Ann Oberman was suitable arrogant and haughty as Hartman. You could see her comeuppance a mile away but it was delicious all the same. And the bets are off it seems for Freema to be the next companion.

And so the episode concludes with every eight year oldВ’s fantasy В– Daleks and Cybermen in the same episode and ready to commence battle.Is this a wise move, I ask myself? Will the DoctorВ’s greatest foes be drained of their impact as they battle it out on Earth? Only В‘DoomsdayВ’ will tell. Let us just be content with perhaps one of the greatest cliffhangers in the seriesВ’ history.





FILTER: - Television - Series 2/28 - Tenth Doctor

Army of Ghosts

Monday, 3 July 2006 - Reviewed by Billy Higgins

Now that was a bit good. Actually, that was a lot good. The penultimate episode of Series 2 promised much in the exciting trailer at the end of Fear Her, and it simply delivered all that and more, in the shape of this sparkling jewel in the second-series crown.

It just makes such a difference to story pacing when you have two episodes to play with rather than one, and the tempo was absolutely spot-on here. The best-structured episode of the series so far, Army Of Ghosts was in no rush to reach its climax, yet it still felt as though it cracked along at a good pace, with plenty of thrilling highlights along the way.

The first of those highlights was the now traditionally excellent pre-credits sequence, in which we learn that Rose is В“deadВ”. I suspect В– well, IВ’m absolutely certain В– that RoseВ’s В“deathВ” wonВ’t mean В“deathВ”, not with the concept of alternative worlds floating around. You could be said to В“dieВ” in one world, for instance, and go to another. You could В“dieВ” in another sense В– inside В– if, for instance, your parents were killed. A distinct possibility here, with the expected В“reunitingВ” of Jackie and Pete. And, of course, you could die and go to Hell . . . which turns out to be eternal life. Or something. But it will be fascinating to discover how RoseВ’s end comes, and I shall hope to avoid serious spoilers before seeing the concluding part. A lot of credit (yet again) to Russell T Davies for his story-arc-building skills in both series to date, to bring us to this point.

And talk of story arcs brings me to Torchwood. Understandably, with a 13-part series upcoming, Torchwood was always going to play a prominent part in the В“mothershipВ” series, but it worked really well, with the little hints (albeit not particularly subtle ones) dropped in previous episodes pointing to here.

I enjoyed Tracy-Ann ObermanВ’s performance. She does have the look of a femme fatale, a Sharon Stone-type in Basic Instinct, a woman who could charm the pants from you, and then deposit an ice pick between your shoulder blades (or somewhere worse) or, indeed, a stone dog upon your head, which is what her character did in EastEnders. ItВ’s unlikely Yvonne Hartman will be called upon to perform such malevolence, not with all that metallic competition around, but there was the hint of the fascist about her. I could certainly see her head to toe in a tight black uniform and jackboots, but perhaps thatВ’s just me . . .

An interesting facet to the character of Yvonne is that she is driven by a desire to make Britain Great through TorchwoodВ’s activities. In a sense, does that make her motivation В– and that of those like her В– akin to the basic В“we will conquer and destroy all in our wayВ” mantra of the Cybermen or the Daleks?

It was good to see Mickey Smith back. And quel transformation! The last time we saw him, Mickey was well on the way from В“upgradingВ” from rather-wet-boy-next-door to all-action resistance fighter, and it looks like heВ’s well and truly the latter now. The excellent Noel Clarke clearly relished playing the action hero in Rise Of The Cybermen/The Age Of Steel, and he was in his element here.

And a word for Camille Coduri, too. SheВ’s always been good for the lighter moments, with her wonderfully-wide eyes, and it was fun to see Jackie take a trip in the TARDIS at last. Obviously, sheВ’s been carried along to Torchwood for a reason, and thatВ’s just another intriguing question left open for the final part.

As well as the guest cast being in good form, David Tennant and Billie Piper also rose to the challenge of a very special story. Tennant was close to his Christmas Invasion best here. Yes, the Ghostbusters stuff and the decidedly-low-tech 3-D glasses were a bit daft, but so was Tom BakerВ’s scarf and the jelly babies and the rolling eyes, and he was a legend. This is just an aspect of TennantВ’s Doctor, and I feel we will see the manic moments still evident, but toned down, in the next series. As IВ’ve opined before, in his quieter paces, of which there were plenty here, Tennant really does excel. IВ’d love to see him as a darker Doctor in Series Three.

Billie Piper always shines (Tooth And Claw excepted, when she was underwritten) when Davies scripts. Rose is his baby, more so than The Doctor, which was an inherited character, and weВ’ve seen throughout the two series how far she has travelled В– literally and metaphorically. В“You even look like him,В” Jackie told her when she saw her daughter at the TARDIS controls. Obviously, how the end comes for Rose В– in whatever form В– is the big question to be answered next week.

That the Army Of Ghosts В– there have been some great episode titles in this series, and this was another В– turned out to be Cybermen crossing over from the parallel world we visited in Episodes 5 and 6 was no great surprise when we saw one of the metal giants lurking in Torchwood (nice touch to have them crashing through plastic sheeting, just like the old days!). But the revelation of the Army was В– as weВ’ve come to expect from The Mill В– superbly realised.

And then there was the end-of-episode cliffhanger. For me, nothing has ever topped the end to Episode One of Earthshock, and I honestly didnВ’t think anything would. When you consider that the image of the Cybermen materialising all over the world would have made a spectacular ending on its own, I wondered what on Earth (or beyond Earth) Davies could have up his sleeve to top that. Well, now we know! To have the flying Daleks В– and a wonderful BLACK Dalek at their head В– emerge from the slowly-opening sphere was simply breathtaking. A wonderful piece of TV, and I just wish I was seven or eight years old, and had no idea what was about to come. An image you would carry with you throughout your years, as I have of cliffhangars in The Green Death and Planet Of The Spiders at that age.

Another great score from Murray Gold, weaving in all his previous themes from both series, and it was all overseen brilliantly by Golden Graeme - and this is only the first half. The Doctor, Rose, Mickey and Jackie in a fight to save the Earth from Daleks AND Cybermen. In an episode called Doomsday. Just what the seven or eight-year-old would write, as Davies himself has said. Without having seen Doomsday, I canВ’t say for certain that this story will take high rank amongst the best Doctor Who stories ever, but Army Of Ghosts has been the pick of this high-quality Series 2. So far!

On a day in which Andre Agassi waved goodbye to Wimbledon and Andy Murray showed that he is a champion of the future, England played in a dramatic World Cup quarter-final and Zinedine Zidane of France showed that while age may take its toll, class is permanent, it says much for Russell T Davies that he could create a TV drama which lived with those unforgettable sporting moments. Dismiss out of hand anyone who says otherwise, THIS is Doctor Who. And this is classic Doctor Who. Enjoy.





FILTER: - Television - Series 2/28 - Tenth Doctor

Army of Ghosts

Monday, 3 July 2006 - Reviewed by Robert F.W. Smith

At last В– a really terrific episode of Doctor Who from the showВ’s primary writer! Daleks, Cybermen, the return of Mickey, Torchwood and an army of Ghosts: this episode truly did pull all the stops out. And comparing it to last yearВ’s season finale, the mostly execrable Bad Wolf/Parting of the Ways, is a real eye-opener; В“Army of GhostsВ” is just in a totally different league. And judging from the В“next weekВ” trailer, there is going to be significantly more harmony of plot here than in that two-parter, which was in effect one boring episode and one densely-packed story about something else altogether.

Brilliantly, В“Army of GhostsВ” managed to be interesting all the way through. From the beginning I was hooked - Rose and the DoctorВ’s voyage to an alien planet in the pre-credits sequence (a lovely and romantic special effects sequence for so short a time, as well), and particularly the Doctor practically dancing round the console operating the switches, really made me feel like I was watching Dr Who В– more strongly, actually, than anything else in the whole of the new series so far apart from the closing ten or so minutes of В“The Doctor DancesВ”!

Also brilliantly, in an episode in which ghosts roam the streets and the Daleks emerge at the end from a sinister sphere, Russell manages to show that the Cybermen are still a serious threat, and very definitely something to be afraid of. Despite their appearances being kept to a minimum for most of the running time, when they do appear to take control at the end they are truly awesome, and the DoctorВ’s line В“not an invasion В– itВ’s too late for that. ItВ’s a victoryВ” highlights the extent of the threat to the Earth as Cybermen appear literally everywhere; not only outside the Taj Mahal, but at the top of the stairs in a middle-class household somewhere in suburbia! The episode was epic in scale.

But is it a victory? Although we, the audience, all knew what was coming out of the sphere after the Dalek-gun effect in last weekВ’s trailer, the appearance of three Daleks must surely surprise even the Cybermen, who have opportunistically followed the capsule into a new universe with no real idea of what is inside. Given that Daleks-versus-Cybermen has been the secret desire of probably quite a few fans for a while, and that Daleks-and-Cybermen-team-up is a close second, I think Russell knows what heВ’s doing here, and I hope he doesnВ’t receive any stick from his new fans for pandering to the В“old guardВ” of fandom. With any luck, whichever route he goes down in the series finale next time (or even if he does both!), the scenario will be interesting to new fans of the series as well.

The portrayal of Torchwood was also sufficiently interesting. Having Chrissy from Eastenders as their chief is looking like quite good casting, as Tracy-Ann Oberman makes a quite charming villainess. Incidentally, the anti-Empire stuff missing from В“Tooth and ClawВ” surfaces here; TorchwoodВ’s motivation seems to be the creation of a British Reich. But it was nowhere near as bad as it could have been; the Doctor doesnВ’t deliver any stinging rebukes at all, which, though welcome, is rather out of character for him В– he seems to be favouring the В“IВ’ll ignore you then В– youВ’ll soon come roundВ” approach at the moment (viz. his doorstep conversation with ChloeВ’s mother in В“Fear HerВ”).

Torchwood, interestingly, is portrayed as a fairly normal organisation В– its employees even instant-message each other about being bored, while Yvonne, nominally (and actually) the villainess, indulgently ignores the romance blossoming between some of her subordinates. While this could have been inappropriate, I think this really pays off here В–Torchwood, although conceptually a bit silly (how many secret organisations/locations are there in the UK? UNIT, C-19, the Glasshouse, the Forge, now Torchwood), is not just a one-dimensional assortment of ciphers.

As for the regulars, Tennant is still on a high, totally engaging and commanding, whether trapping a ghost in a triangulation network, explaining about boots and footprints, taking a wrong turning in the corridors or making holes in plate-glass. Rose gets to demonstrate her independence and courage again, Jackie, though rather useless, doesnВ’t feel too shoe-horned in, and MickeyВ… well, he hasnВ’t done anything yet, but itВ’s nice to see him again (I was expecting him, but not in that capacity). Given that Pete Tyler and MickeyВ’s boring chum from В“The Age of SteelВ” are also putting in appearances next time round, I canВ’t help but wonder if Russell hasnВ’t taken on too much for a 45-minute episode; but we will see.

Who else thinks Jackie and Pete and Rose and Mickey are going to get together and live in the parallel universe?





FILTER: - Television - Series 2/28 - Tenth Doctor

Army of Ghosts

Monday, 3 July 2006 - Reviewed by Alan McDonald

Well, now.

For me, 'The Satan Pit' two-parter was the best of this season so far, but right now, minutes after episode 12 has ended, I want to go back and rewatch the episode immediately for the first time since 'Bad Wolf' last year.

The Doctor and Rose return to visit Jackie, only to discover that the ghosts of loved ones have been returning on Earth for two months, the result of activity at the mysterious Torchwood Tower.

Sure, there are some plot holes - peoples' belief in the ghosts being their loved ones having the strength to pull them further through the dimensional gap is pretty sketchy, and the Cybermen sitting completely undiscovered in a construction area which happens to be located in the most secure site in Britain (complete with alien technology) is rather ridiculous. Also, the Doctor's 'who ya gonna call?' was a little cringe-worthy.

Seriously, though, who cares?

The beginning of the episode screams 'epic tale coming!', with Rose's narration and suggestion that this is the story of her death catching us from the get-go. We even get a shot of Chris Ecclestone in 'Rose', back where this all began. From there, the story never lets go, choosing wisely not to dwell too much on the ghosts plot, instead allowing Rose and Jackie to once again question the dubious future of a companion of the Doctor's. We get more of a look at Torchwood and the lovely little surprise of Mickey's reappearance (unless, like me, you guessed that would happen back after 'The Age of Steel'). Much as 'Bad Wolf' was last season, 'Army of Ghosts' is really all set-up for the mouth-watering battle to come. Thankfully, though, Russell T Davies avoids the pop culture overload of last year's penultimate episode, settling for a genuinely amusing series of television clips dealing with the ghosts.

And the cliffhanger ...

I'd heard a suggestion in the tabloids months ago that the finale would feature a battle between the Daleks and the Cybermen, but I didn't actually believe it would happen.

I have no doubt Davies is going to be criticised for the move - it does seem like a fan's wet-dream rather than a viable story - but I'm more than happy to be optimistic and trust that the built-in payoff and excitement of a season finale will help carry the ambitious proposal. And, despite always preferring the Cybermen to the Daleks, I found myself leaning forward with a huge grin on my face as the screeching, evil creatures came out of that sphere. Exactly as I was last year during the Doctor's rousing 'I'm going to save Rose Tyler' speech, in fact.

Of course, this time, it looks like he's going to be able to do anything but ...

As for the other aspects of the production, David Tennant, Billie Piper, Camille Coduri and Noel Clarke have their characters down perfectly, the SFX is back to its polished best and Murray Gold combines a nice selection of past musical signatures for continuity with a newer, action-packed score.

Next week's going to be epic, no doubt about it. And if Davies can resist the deus ex machina resolution that slightly marred 'The Parting of the Ways', I'll be utterly delighted.

Bring on 'Doomsday'.





FILTER: - Television - Series 2/28 - Tenth Doctor

Army of Ghosts

Monday, 3 July 2006 - Reviewed by Morgan Jenner

One second. One second was it would take to have lifted "Army of Ghosts" from a being a fairly hum-drum episode to one that would go down in history as one of the most remembered.

I've never really felt compelled to write a review before. I almost did for "Tooth and Claw" as I wanted to recognise that perhaps (maybe) RTD, as much as I respect him for the quality of his earlier work, could write a really good episode of "Doctor Who". And I nearly wrote in to write one for "The Impossible Planet"/"The Satan Pit" to recognise it as one of the best "Doctor Who" stories fullstop, but to rank it the best story of seasons one and two of the revival.

So what is it that's prompted me to write about "Army of Ghosts"?

One second.

In the hope that RTD and the production team read these reviews - as well they should, for I have much respect for the opinions of the regular reviewers who feature on this site - I have to plead that they never ever again inflict such forewarning to an episode.

I refer, of course, to that one second of last week's trailer. The extermination.

We knew the Cybermen were back. And thanks to the BBC being unable to keep things quiet just another few weeks, we know that Rose is leaving.

There was more than enough to entice viewers for this week's episode... So why, for heaven's sake, did they have to show that one second extermination.

A week in advance, we knew the Daleks were back.

All throughout the episode I was thinking when are the Dalek's showing up... It was all too obvious very early on that it would be the cliffhanger.

And yes, the cliffhanger did get the heart pounding even knowing it was coming... But for someone who had no indication prior to last week's trailer that the Daleks were back, that cliffhanger could - in fact, it would - have blown me away.

I suppose there's an argument that, if I don't want to know what's going to happen in the next story, don't watch the trailer... But surely the trailer is supposed to tease the viewer, not give the whole game away?!

One second. One second we could have lived without.

Anyways - to review the episode so that I can justify my writing in, rather than ranting in! - the eipsode was clearly a prelude to something bigger... And next week is going to have to deliver a pretty spectacular payoff after such a middling affair... RTD take note of "The Impossible Planet" as to how to make a first episode something to rate on its own, rather than as a protracted introduction.

It was good seeing Jackie getting a trip in the TARDIS - miffed as she was.

And it was good to see Mickey back, 'though if the Cybermen were back, you kinda figured he'd be not too far behind. Next week, Captain Jack has to be back I guess. Torchwood not too far away in our viewing schedules.

But please, let's not see Yvonne Hartman much more. No great talent there.

And on that note, I'm relieved that the rumours of Adeola being the next companion were just that... Wouldn't want the Doctor travelling with a wooden plank, now would we?!

A so-so episode that lacked any suspense - the Cybermen knocking a door over, rather than shattering it! - but one that could have been saved by omitting that one second last week.

Regardless - I am looking forward to next week.





FILTER: - Television - Series 2/28 - Tenth Doctor

Army of Ghosts

Monday, 3 July 2006 - Reviewed by Nathan Blunt

What. The. Hell. Was. That?

Doctor Who's a funny old programme, isn't it? I mean, if you take it as a whole and select the bits that you can like without having to say "Well, it was done in the 60's," or "That's cos it's a kids' show really," or any of the other things that you need to say in order to justify it to someone who didn't fall in love with the programme at the age of 6, then there's still the fact that you have to bend over backwards to make a case for Doctor Who being any good. Right? You have to say: "Ignore the Mandrels, look at Logopolis, ignore the Slitheen, look at 'The Pool Scene' (yeh, 'Paradise Towers' was brilliant, wasn't it? Na, just winding you up kids, you know which pool scene I mean. Actually maybe you think I mean Leela's pool scene. Alright: Look at the pool scene in 'School Reunion'. Happy?)" And, you know, through the dross and the overacting and the plot holes and the rubbish science and the washing-up liquid bottles and the polystyrene bricks, you can usually rely on the actor portraying the Doctor to put in a good performance. Even in the worst stories, there's usually the Doctor to rely on. But that's just a teaser for my main complaint about 'Army Of Ghosts', let's have a quick bitch about everything else that was wrong with it, eh?

Blimey Torchwood's boring. Honestly, there better be non-stop scenes of Captain Jack Kirking it around Cardiff with every available species and gender of alien, because Torchwood as an organisation is very, very dull. You remember that big reveal of the 'shop floor' and how impressive it was supposed to be? Well, it looked like a couple of rooms loaned out from Buffy's season 4 Initiative. Remember? When the story arc was so crap its finale didn't even merit being the final story of the season.

What was all that clapping about? Were they mocking the Doctor, or is G Harper such a bad director that he told everyone to clap like that? Well, G Harper is a terrible director, there's no doubt about that. I thought the Cybermen stories were rubbish earlier in the season and this one failed to surprise by disappointing too. Shall I qualify this? Nah. You know I'm right. Just feel that empty space in yrself, deep down, that you made in yr heart when you heard that G Harper was coming back; that little void waiting to be filled with love and excitement. Now see that it's still empty. Maybe you told yrself that his stories were alright, maybe you even found some good bits in 'Steel Of The Cybermen' or whatever it was called and you freeze-framed them and pointed to them. But you and I know that that space in yr heart is empty and that Trigger was rubbish. And gargled.

Operate the blue switches! Those two great big ridiculous switches in the control room were hilarious! Come on. Straining, sweating scientists turning on the ghost shift regularly for no good reason at all, and it being perfectly fine every time until the 1001st. I bet they felt like right goons when they realised that they could've saved themselves the effort of heavy switch-pulling by merely tapping, tapping, tapping, tapping pointlessly on the keyboard like their cybernised colleages did.

You know, when I was little and Colin Baker said "I'll take you to..." and Peri never found out where and Doctor Who wasn't on the telly for 18 months and I learnt the word 'hiatus', I wrote a Doctor Who story. You probably did too. Obviously it was a terrible piece of fan-fic. I was a fan, it was fic and I was 10 or something. But you know what really gave it the hallmark of dreadful fanwank? It was the fact that it was an impossible and boring wish-list. Not only did it have Colin and Nicola meeting Tom and Lala, but it featured both Cybermen and Daleks. It also had some crap Spider creatures and Davros, but that is not the point. And now Russel has got to actually make that ultimate fan-fic. He's been allowed to do what people have been arguing about since Hartnell carked it: Daleks v Cybermen. Dalek





FILTER: - Television - Series 2/28 - Tenth Doctor