Before I begin this review proper I’ll first point out that what I’m reviewing here is the 1993 video release, and not the original 1988 broadcast version. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, being five years old at the time of broadcast, it would be impossible for me to review that version (until a special edition DVD is released, containing the original and extended versions a la ‘The Curse of Fenric’). Secondly, the video release is one mostly likely seen by most fans more than fifteen years after broadcast. Not that it would make a whole lot of difference, as I gather the added footage doesn’t change the story a great deal. Anyway, on with the review… 

I’ll get straight to the point with this one. ‘Silver Nemesis’ has a reputation for being utter tripe, without a single redeeming feature. Many would have you believe that ‘Silver Nemesis’ is in fact one of the worst Doctor Who stories of all time. And, in many respects they are right. But for some reason, I can’t help but enjoy watching it. Shoot me. Now that I’ve got that out of the way, you’ll understand why I’ll spend the next four paragraphs ripping into the story, only to recommend it as an entertaining diversion at the end. And rip into it I shall.

Let me first deal with the similarities in plot this has with ‘Remembrance of the Daleks’. It has to be said that the two are basically the same story told in slightly different ways. To summarise the plot, various groups are fighting over a super weapon, with one of these groups being one of the Doctors oldest adversaries, the Cybermen. The Doctor manipulates the various factions into wiping each other out, until only the orbiting Cyber fleet is left. He then uses the weapon against the Cyber fleet, completely obliterating them. Replace Cybermen with Daleks and Cyber fleet with Skaro and you have the basic plot outline for ‘Remembrance of the Daleks’. This might have been excusable if these two stories were spread out over different seasons or if ‘Silver Nemesis’ actually tried to hide these similarities, but they were broadcast far too close to each other and at one point during ‘Silver Nemesis’ Ace says, “Just like you nailed the Daleks.” It’s almost as if the production team were proud in some way to be recycling plot lines.

‘Silver Nemesis’ is full of some of the most obvious padding of any Doctor Who story. The encounter with the skin heads and the limo ride with Delores Grey add absolutely nothing to the story and are, please forgive me for lowering the tone, shite. These are two prime examples, but one could also mention all that nonsense with the queen and her security guards. These scenes are so excruciatingly bad they border on the cringe worthy. If these pointless little diversions (which are clearly meant to be humorous, but aren’t) were removed then you’d have a half decent story. McCoy and Aldred are both a joy to watch, from their first scene enjoying a jazz session, where Courtney Pine guests as himself, to the scene where the pair jam the Cybermen signal for reinforcements with one of Pines cassettes. The battle scenes are well handled and the English countryside is well used as an exceptionally pretty backdrop. Furthermore, the supporting cast, which includes Anton Diffring and Fiona Walker as Her De Flores and Lady Peinforte respectively, all give decent performances, despite being poorly served by the script. But even with these plus points, ‘Silver Nemesis’ seems more than able to shoot itself in the foot and back all at the same time with one element to the story they really should have tried harder to get right. I am, of course, referring to the Cybermen.

Now, no review of ‘Silver Nemesis’ would be complete without commenting on these ‘deadly adversaries’. For a monster or creature to work and be scary within the confines of an early evening family show, then it should all be taken deadly serious by the cast and crew. It shouldn’t be played for laughs. But laugh at the Cybermen I did. You see these buffoons are so weak, stupid and incompetent that half of their number is wiped out by gold tipped arrows, and the other half by a teenage girl with a slingshot and some gold coins. I do realise that gold is to these creatures what garlic is to vampires, but here it is taken to ludicrous extremes, with them fleeing in terror at the slightest hint there may be some gold nearby. Yes, the costumes look great and the effect on the end of the Cyber guns is rather nifty, but they appear unable to shoot straight and are easily defeated. I’m also confused as to why the Cyber fleet only sent down one small group to retrieve the Nemesis, when in orbit we are told they have “thousands of ships”. 

It has to be said that it doesn’t start off too bad. In fact, episode one is quite promising. It’s only when all of the main players are involved does it begin to fall apart. And that is perhaps the biggest flaw with ‘Silver Nemesis’. Far too many things are happening, and the whole thing jumps around far too much.

I said I would recommend it, and I shall. You see, for all its flaws and shortcomings as a piece of TV Sci-fi and as a Doctor Whostory, I always enjoy the experience of watching ‘Silver Nemesis’. Maybe it’s the ‘so bad its good’ element. Perhaps ‘Silver Nemesis’ is really a classic Doctor Who adventure, it’s only when you attempt to pull it apart and analyse it does it transform into the polished turd that most think it is, I’m not sure. But what I am sure about is that every time I watch ‘Silver Nemesis’ and come away from it knowing it was pap and knowing there are far more productive ways to spend my free time, I’m also aware that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

And isn’t that the point?

This is the only Seventh Doctor-era story that seriously disappointed me. (I have seen all but Delta and the Bannermen.)

It claims to be an satirical and intellectual tale of a population being denied the right to feel sad, and to some extent it is; but, it comes off as fluff--not very intellectual, witty or funny, but just silly. Granted, the Kandy Man (an evil executioner who is literally made of candy) is /vaguely/ scary, esp. when s/he snarls, "Welcome to the Kandy Kitchen, gentlemen...I like my volunteers [to die] with...THMILES on their faces!", but most other characters are dismissably dull. And some of the things that happen during the 'revolution' against happiness make the viewer groan and say 'Riiiight'--such as the Doctor dousing the Kandy Man with lemonade, which apparently reacts with his candy-flesh so as to make his feet stick to the floor.

Another reason to dislike The Happiness Patrol is that unlike most Doctor Who stories, this is overtly and offensively politicized. What the political messages are is not relevant, but I will say that the reason I dumped Star Trek is that I had grown tired of Trek's arrogant and incessant attempts to indoctrinate its audience. Doctor Who has consistently avoided shoving lessons down the viewer's throat, but The Happiness Patrol does exactly that. Really, the only other such exception in Doctor Who is The Green Death, a laughable serial about capitalists who pollute the environment because they are bad, bad, bad.

Not a dream! Not a hoax! Not an imaginary story (except, aren't they all?)!

Today I shall tell you why Silver Nemesis is one of my top three Doctor Who stories, ever. No, really!

Bear in mind, I was probably all of seven or eight years old when I first saw this story (on PBS, before the Cleveland PBS station decided to follow the BBC's lead and exile the TARDIS from the airwaves, boo hiss). I watched Nemesis with a child's glee...and still do, even to this day. The Seventh Doctor and Ace are my favorite Doctor and companion, respectively and as a team, and here they're in top form. 

The Doctor is playing chess, manipulating Nazis, Cybermen, and Elizabethan nutters to to win the day...yet he does so with whimsy, and hardly a touch of angst. When he confounds the Cyberleader by preprogramming the Nemesis to 'understand, and disobey' its orders...to my younger incarnation this was an utterly brilliant twist, and still today it feels triumphant. It is the essense of the Doctor, I would argue; he's one of those rare heroes whose best weapons are their wits. We also see quite a bit of the so-called 'Cartmel master-plan' at work here, an attempt to restore some mystery to the Doctor. In addition to Lady Peinforte's babblings about Gallifrey and the Dark Time, we have the Doctor's own conversations with the Nemesis. The statue asks when she shall have her freedom...

"I told you when. Things aren't perfect yet..."

Combined with his actions in 'Remembrance of the Daleks' (which has a rather same-y plot, in the broad outlines, but I never noticed until it was pointed out, and frankly I still don't mind!), this Doctor seems to have a far grander plan for the universe than ever we'd imagined. The author Neil Gaiman, on his commentary track for the 'Neverwhere' DVD, talks about creating a character with the early Doctor Whos in mind...with a sense of danger about him, a sense of his own agenda. The seventh Doctor here brings that back in spades...yet without ever crossing the line into anti-hero territory. He remains firmly on the side of the angels, and his companions. He remains our lovable, magical, silly uncle. (I've always felt the New Adventures novels lost that balance, should not have crossed those lines, but that's a debate for another day.)

Ace, meanwhile, kicks some major cyber-bottom. Pinned down by three of the argent adversaries, she cleverly shoots one (with a gold coin) and ducks, so the other two miss her and kill each other...and okay, its the oldest trick in the book, but at the time it seemed novel to me!

Although many fans decry the Cybermen being turned into weaklings in Silver Nemesis, a poor joke, this is the very story which made me fall in love with them. I loved watching Ace racing about the warehouse, dodging laser blasts, and picking them off one by one with her 'catapult'. I loved their ridiculous cyber death screams. I've never really been particularly worried if they were 'scary' or not. In stories like 'Tomb' they're creepy, in Earthshock they're diabolical...but in Nemesis, they're just plain fun.

Then there's Fiona Walker, of "I, Claudius" fame, as the twisted Lady Peinforte, an Elizabethan sorceress who's managed to meddle with Time Lord technology, and even to learn their secrets, the Doctor's secrets (or so she claims). In less able hands she might have been a poor caricature, but Walker's performance is marvelously subtle, a delight to watch, and a worthy foe for the seventh Doctor. She is so carefully composed...utterly ladylike, despite her ruthlessness, even viciousness. Even in the raving phase of her madness, she is measured, her passion bubbling beneath the surface yet never boiling over the top. Her megalomaniacal musical number is hilarious, yet strangely pitiable. Her scenes in the limo with Mrs. Remington are beautifully played, and cleverly scripted...

"Now let me see, there WAS a Dorothea, she died in 16--"

21. 'Twas a slow poison..."

Lady Peinforte also displays an intriguing self-awareness, perhaps even pangs of conscience, when confused by Richard's insistence on saving her life, despite years of ill treatment. Richard, in turn, is another wonderful character. A simple archetype, the sinner with the heart of gold, but played with such feeling by Gerard Murphy that he transcends the trite. Instead he rings true, and his single-handed destruction of the Cyberleader is another of the story's triumphant moments; the good heart wins through.

I have always considered it one of Doctor Who's great strengths that it is a show for ALL ages, that it is as ridiculous as it is meaningful, as whimsical as it is thoughtful. In what other show would you find our heroes taking a break from their pursuit of the enemy to lie on a hillside for a 'jam session'? I would argue that few, if any, series have that breadth of imagination...that ability to take itself utterly and not at all seriously, all at once. In Doctor Who, as in life, there are times to philosophize, and times just to sit back and enjoy the ride. And so for me, Silver Nemesis really was a perfect anniversary story, a Who for all seasons, the quintessence...and whatever anyone says, I shall proclaim it proudly!

And for my next trick, a rave review of 'Timelash'...

You think I'm kidding.

Daleks should be seen, but not heard. It’s the voice. It is truly atrocious. I suppose it is ok for the odd ‘exterminate’, but just imagine a half hour lecture on existential philosophy? So we were really lucky with this little sucker (or should that be plunger) because we got to see just the right amount of Daleks in a really interesting story.

This episode was another of those ‘commemorative’ milestone stories that they drag out every so often, sort of like the James Bond film – ‘Die Another Day’ – full of homage to its own history. If you have seen ‘Die Another Day’ you will also know that this concept can go horribly wrong. You can almost see the producers sitting around after a few wines saying to themselves ‘why do we need to waste money on scriptwriters when we can just ignore the plot and pinch the concepts from old material’?

Fortunately they didn’t do that one here. It’s a well written story. The plot for this story is all merely part of Sylvester McCoy’s darker more manipulative Doctor’s master plan for keeping the universe safe from nasty types such as the Daleks. Of course the Doctor’s well laid plans go a bit awry when he realises that there are not one, but two Dalek factions roaming around greater London. How no one noticed a bunch of very peculiar aliens proclaiming universe domination in such a heavily populated city as London I don’t know – and have you ever heard a Dalek whisper?

I hope I am not giving too much away here, but the Doctor does in fact defeat the Daleks. He actually kills one off simply by chatting to it – a more manipulative Doctor with secret powers or a lousy conversationalist? You decide. Some people like it, some don’t, but it does add a little mystery. This story continues the theme that implies there is something to the Doctor that we don’t know. He even tells Davros that he is much more than ‘just another Time Lord’.

The best part of this story is that the Daleks look like they have all been spending far too much time down the pub. Apparently they redesigned the Daleks so they now ran on big balls or some such and they wobble, quite a bit, in fact an awful lot. However you can amuse yourself for hours on end imagining a group of rowdy Daleks wobbling home from the pub on a Friday night singing ‘we are not defeated, only delayed…. One day we will conquer and you will be our slaves’, then perhaps stopping to get a curry. 

On this note, if you can, get the DVD. It has a wonderful commentary from Sylvester McCoy and Sophie Aldred. It is refreshing to know that while you think the actors are emoting their hearts out they are actually trying not to laugh at drunken Daleks and such.

This story is also historic as it is the historic episode where it is revealed that Daleks do not need wheel chair access. They can climb stairs.

Following on from the excellent 'Remembrance of the Daleks', 'The Happiness Patrol' features Sylvester McCoy still on top form, and the Doctor here has too many good lines to list. One glorious moment sees him turning the questions back on the questioner, Trevor Sigma, while another is his confrontation with two guards (a classic Who moment). There are many more good moments, and only two lapses into bad-McCoy territory: the first, at the end of episode one, where McCoy really doesn't manage to pull off a plausible reaction to the Kandy Man's threat; and the second, a moment where he tries to sing the blues, and just looks silly. The latter, however, is saved by the context of the scene, where atmospheric and subtle support is given by Richard D. Sharp, playing Earl Sigma, a wandering medical student, who happens to be an ace player of the blues harmonica.

The score of 'The Happiness Patrol' is, of course, one its very best traits. Layered on top of the usual incidental music is a carefully judged combination of blues guitar and harmonica playing. In tune with the score is the set design, mixing together (with no lack of irony) the hard-edged industrial paintings of Fernand Leger, imagery from Lang's 'Metropolis', and the colour pallete of a children's sweet packet. Of course, as we know, good set design in 1980s Doctor Who stories was often ruined by boring, flat lighting. Pleasingly, that is not the case here. Moody and atmospheric film-noir (albeit full-colour-film-noir) lighting of the street and pipe scenes makes for one of the best looking Doctor Who stories ever made. One of the scenes to benefit vastly is the cliff-hanger to episode two. From a shot of a member of the happiness painting 'RIP' (in pink) onto an execution poster, the camera slowly pans to focus on the Doctor, eyes in shadow, looking part-anxious, part-highly-dangerous toppler of evil regimes; the shot is held for a second or two, and then the music surges in. A cliff-hanger to beat all cliff-hangers. 

Watching 'The Happiness Patrol' now, almost 15 years after it was originally broadcast, what stands out is the cleverness of it all. The evidence indicates that a lot of work, on several levels, went into constructing a story often accused of being poorly made and tacky. It may have had a low budget, but it doesn't suffer from it; and any 'tackiness' is clearly ironic, working within the context of the narrative. There are occasional moments when a detail of the production makes you wonder if they couldn't have thought things through a bit more, and occasionally the editing is over-zealous, cutting a scene a little too short, and lessening the effect of a punchline or a dramatic speech. But these are minor problems, and they do little to spoil the enjoyment of a thoroughly ambitious and engaging Doctor Who serial.